The newspaper has a section on new condos. The front page of this part is about boring bachelor pads and the mistakes single guys always do.

• The dark leather sofa: Yup. I have one of those.
• The AV equipment: Does a 56-inch widescreen TV count. Yes it does. This indicates my living area is for watching TV and playing video games instead of conversation. Ironic considering how little time I do spend using the TV. Maybe I should move my aforementioned sofa and chairs around so they are arrayed in a circle?
• The cheap shelves: Check. They were a good place to store remotes! I thought they were a great idea.
• The bad art: I might be better here. But then again, most of my art is inherited from my mother. I do like my wooden framed medieval map of England. (Or is it France? I’m not sure, I never look.) Against me, is that I actually have purchased beautiful numbered prints of half-naked winged fantasy women. They previously adorned the walls of my apartment ten years ago, but I still have them.

So, it can not be argued. I have a boring bachelor pad; As defined by an article written by a woman. (Does that give it more credibility or less?) However, I can’t really see it changing. I don’t like to sell things. It makes me feel like I was wrong to have purchased it in the first place. Better to throw it out and maintain some honor.
Why do you think I still have a scooter?