So we were having a silent auction at work. Since we are moving, we are trying to get rid of all of the old junk we don’t need anymore. There were some old computers, monitors and stuff available.
A while back, I purchased the Ultima collection. I don’t have a Windows machine and I’ve wanted to play some of the old Ultima games for awhile now. So I thought I would bid on a cheap computer. I’ll need a monitor too.
So there was one computer I decided I would go for. It was A PII 300Mhz. Out of date, but good for playing old games. It was lot number 37, and the bidding became fierce. There were lots of computers, but several people wanted that one. Diane in particular was snapping up lots of computers. For group homes. The fact that she wanted them for a
charitable cause made me hate her even more.
I hate auctions where I need to compete against people I know. I end up hating them when they outbid me.
I bid on a monitor. A 17-inch one. It was lot number 8.
There was a clear conflict of interest in play as the person responsible for closing the bids was also bidding. So she could bid on something and then close it. She was quite honest and I never saw her do anything like that.
So she first closed lots 1 to 20. She took her sweet time doing it. She walked to each individual item and took off the sheet. She didn’t even do it close to in order. So while she was wandering all over the room, I have to feel my stress going through the roof as I watch her blissfully walk past my monitor. In the end, I do get it for $6.50.
Now I have to compete against Diane for the computer. She doesn’t believe in small incremental bids, and ups it by $5 when she needs to make a bid. I figure that I’ll wait as long as possible to bid on it.
This time though, when the time ran out on lots 21 to 40, the sheets were collected by Mike. He is far more efficient. He grabs the sheets quickly, and I lose the computer. Diane gets it for $20.
I have a monitor with no computer.
Now I have to try and calm down. I find myself hating Diane, ticked off at Mike, and I will die before I ever think nicely of a group home.

I hate auctions.