It’s amazing how important it is to me to be liked. I never felt liked in school and so I constantly want approval, even now. I’ve noted in another person the same trait, not recognizing it in myself. They got really upset when a person, that didn’t seem to be worth their time, got into a fight with them and would no longer be their friend. I felt that you shouldn’t try to make everyone happy.
And now I’ve done the same thing.
When I’m on vacation, I take pictures. And I want to be a nice, liked, person, so I go out of my way to get copies of the pictures to the people that are in them. I’ve done this in Jamaica and I did it when I was in L.A. I was actually an official photographer for the event organizer. I collect email addresses and try and be diligent at getting the photos to the respective parties as quickly as possible. And afterwards, when I send the event organizer the copies, I don’t include the ones people would prefer were kept private.
And I don’t play favorites; If you are in a picture, I assume you should get a copy.
However, this last time someone said that they didn’t like a picture I had taken; They didn’t like the person that they were in it with, and I should delete it. Note: This was not a photo that was taken surreptitiously; This was a photo that they posed for together. Of course I was only told this after they had seen the picture. i.e. After I had sent the picture to all the people in it.
She is now very upset with me; I have caused drama for her and I have screwed her. I can understand this, but since I was only told not to release it after the fact, there was nothing I could do. I’ve explained my side, and I don’t think she is going to accept my apology. Yes, I did something wrong, but I didn’t know it at the time.
I really want to reply to her last email, to make her understand. I am sure though that this would be a mistake; There is nothing I can say that would calm her down.
So I’ve been feeling horrible lately because a person I barely know, in a different country, hates me for something that I was trying to be nice about.
In a (barely) related topic, I have been waking up in the past two mornings with a lot of pain in my neck. Fortunately I had a therapeutic massage scheduled for this morning, and it looks like the push-ups I do before bed have been too much for me.