It is a matter of public record that I hate Christmas carols. I’ve commonly said that it is because they have been overplayed and I feel like they are always trying to sell me something when I hear them around Christmas. In August there is a better chance that they will feel like they have meaning.
I have come to doubt that theory now.
Instead we will replace it with a new theory. A new theory that fills in some of the holes in the first theory.
I think it is far more likely that I just associate Christmas carols with a traumatic moment in my life. You most often hear them in malls, and malls are miserable places, especially close to Christmas. How could that not be traumatic? It may have happened in my youth and they still cause me grief. I am much better able to tolerate a carol if it doesn’t sound “professional”. i.e. Something a mall might play. A single person on a piano makes a much better performance that does not cause me stress.
The August corollary doesn’t stand up to examination in this light. So let’s examine its origins.
I first came up with it when I saw an Animaniacs Christmas episode in August and found the songs quite touching, especially “We Three Kings” and “Little Drummer Boy”. But I don’t think it is the timing that made me like them, I think those are the only carols I like (Along with “Carol of the Bells”).
It was pointed out to me tonight that “We Three Kings” was depressing. That is exactly right! No mall ever plays that song. So no trauma. And of all of the carols, it is the only one where people are out doing things. The others just try and sell a feeling; this one tells a story. (Not a large one I’ll admit.)
“Little Drummer Boy” is a bit more mall friendly. I can’t explain why I like that one, but it doesn’t feel overplayed to me. “Carol of the Bells” just sounds spooky.
So new theory: There are only three good carols, all the others displease me.