Driving

Yesterday I had a good drive to work. It all comes down to River Valley Road. For my purposes, that road is one lane, and there is enough traffic coming and going that there is no safe way to pass a car ahead of you. So once you’re in position, you stay there. If there is a clown car ahead of you, suck it up princess.
I turn left onto this road at the Walterdale bridge. However, to my right there are cars already on it. In fact, there are two lanes of them, entering into a merge where they are whittled down to one lane.
What this means for me is that when they have a green light, a whole pile of traffic fights its way into the one lane, creating a nice clogged artery. When my light turns green I’m stuck behind that clog, where invariably someone with no stress slows everything down. The 60km limit is a dream as someone decides that 50km is safer. Yesterday though, I hit a green light with some maturity, so the clog had already travelled far enough that it was an open expressway for me.
But the end result of all this is maybe saving one or two minutes of my drive. I go through a lot of hoops to try and hit that sweet spot that will make River Valley Road a stress-free commute.
The thing is, I hate driving. I see no joy in it. I find the experience frustrating. Since I want to get it over with as quickly as possible, I go faster than the speed limit. Almost always. And it annoys me no end when the person ahead of me sticks to that limit like glue. Is that safe driving on my part?No, but speeding is less stressful than being forced to go slow. But in my defense, I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket. I don’t excessively speed. But the point of being in a car is to move forward. Sometimes the other drivers seem to forget this.
Whyte avenue seems to be designed to slow traffic down. Every light is timed to be red when you hit it.
With this in mind, I’ve realized something recently. I’ve probably always known it, but it feels more real if I write it down. With the snow here, I’m much more likely to run a yellow light. I convince myself it is safer. If I try and stop quickly so I don’t run the light, I risk going into a skid. It would probably be safer to just get through on the yellow light. But is that always true, or am I just using the excuse as a way to not wait through a red?
Of course, will realizing this thought process change my driving?