You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.
I haven’t seen the movie We Bought a Zoo, but I had somehow heard the quote. It was going through my head a month ago.
A month ago I was at an event, with people who had similar interests, and watching a performance. I got to talking with a beautiful woman near me. A woman who laughed at my jokes. I used those twenty seconds of courage to ask for her phone number, and she gave it to me.
We talked a bit on the phone and then we went out to see a movie. Drinks afterwards. I had a good time, and I learned more what dating should be like.
My previous attempts at dating haven’t gone well. And that has been partly my fault. I now realize there are two things that make dating go well.
Firstly, it is very important to have similar interests. I have met women I like, but dreaded phoning them up to plan something, because I had no idea what to do with them. The activities they want to do, don’t match the ones I want to do. There is only so long that I can talk over coffee. I am a goal-oriented person, and talking is not a goal. It is part of the journey.
Secondly, dating should not be a one-way street. It should be a mutual relationship. If I’m doing all the work, then something is wrong. She should want to see me as well.
Now all of this information is great, but things didn’t work out. I wish I knew why. A friend has called me “an acquired taste”, and it may be unfortunately true. After the one date, and a brief meeting at another event, the plan for dinner was cancelled with half an hour notice. (She got called into work.) That is last I have heard from her. I assume she has decided that it wouldn’t work out.
I’m trying to figure out what I did wrong. I thought it had been going well. She had been willing to return calls.
I wonder if I have an enemy out there who is spreading lies/truth about me?
did you follow up with her after she got called into work? It’s entirely possible that she did in fact get called in to work, and is now feeling bad about it, and hoping you will call her again. That might not be the case, but I wouldn’t just assume that’s she’s not into you based on that (unless you did call again and she stopped returning calls. :-S Some women are shy/nervous/scared too.
And being an acquired taste is not a bad thing – some of the finer things in life are acquired.
But now you know what was working, you know what you need to do in the future – ask for numbers of women you dig, and follow up! and even if it doesn’t always work out (you know in the long run it’s not going to work out more often than it is, right?), you’ll at least get to enjoy some dates and good company. It’s not easy, but I’d say it’s worth it. And you could even make some new friends along the way.
I phoned once a few days later, then text messaged a couple days after that. No response.
The big problem is that there are very few women I dig. I also don’t have an extensive social circle, so I don’t actually get much chance to meet new people.
Then you need to start attending more events with people with similar interests, like the one where you met this lady. 🙂
By the way, that’s an awesome quote, and it is so true!!