Last Friday I got my two weeks notice. I’ve been laid off.
I’ve been stressed for the last few weeks, thinking I had been doing a bad job at work. This was because my boss was under a lot of pressure, assumed someone else’s mistake was mine, and took his frustration out on me. He apologized later, but the damage was done, and my confidence in my job has been shot. So this lay off was not entirely unexpected.
However, it was not for anything I’ve done. The company’s finances haven’t been that good lately and they have to let people go. Several other people are going too. But they are trying not to be mean, and want us to keep working for the last two weeks; as opposed to kicking us out and forcing us to use our vacation time. They’ve given me a very good reference letter, and said that if things picked up, they would hire me back.
I long ago decided that there is no point to getting angry or vindictive at employers. Don’t burn bridges.
Today was exhausting though. I am doing some training of a junior employee on the code I’ve worked on. I am trying to be in a positive mood, but it is a bit of a lie. If I can keep myself distracted, it isn’t too bad. But I constantly question myself and try to determine if I am working on something important. If I get stuck on something, can I waste someone else’s time to try and get out of it? Tired.
Part of me is looking forward to being laid off. I can finally catch up on some personal programming projects that have been left behind. But every so often I think about some of the stuff I want to do, and I have to realize that money isn’t always going to be there now.
My life has changed and I need to accept that.