I started this blog in January of 2004. I’ve been doing my best to update it ever since. But, let’s be honest, my interest has been less for the last few years. I’ve tried to make at least one post a month, and I’ve been doing that (although I haven’t always gotten them up by the end of the month, I’ve always written them in the month.) Why have I not been posting as much? It could be social media makes it more conducive to do a micro-post. Or that I have no evidence that anyone actually reads this. And WordPress isn’t exactly secure; my website has gone down due to hackers every so often, and I blame security holes in WordPress for that.
So I’ve decided that my last post will be in this month. Twenty years of posting is good enough. If I do want to blog again, it will be a more targeted forum where I’m only discussing one aspect of my life. Probably iCartographer.
Now the big question is whether this will be my last post.
My Atrial Fibrillation is still ongoing. I’ve been taking blood-thinning pills because my heart doctor recommends it. But this is not a solution and it would be better if I wasn’t medicating myself for the rest of my life. So that leaves pulmonary ablation, which I liken to “Death Rays to the Heart”. Basically they will try and kill the muscles that are causing the irregular heartbeat. The doctor thinks this is the best way, but I’ve been avoiding actually doing the procedure for a long time. I mean, I feel fine except when I stop daily running. Why should I go through with it?
Tomorrow I’m going through with it.
Now the doctor has made it clear that there is little risk during the operation. The bigger risk is the recovery afterwards where I might start bleeding out through the groin (where they are going to be doing the operation from.) Plus pulmonary ablation only has a 75% success rate. So there is a non-insignificant chance that I won’t improve.
I’m scared.
I’m going to be put under twice: first for an ultrasound down my throat, and then again for the actual operation. This always scares me because what if I don’t wake up. Coma or otherwise. It is probably an unfounded fear.
I’m a parent now. I want to be there to take care of my family and watch my baby grow. So, yes, I’m scared. I’m pretending to be fine, but the anxiety is building.
I’ll post again after the procedure.