Drunk, noun

I am so wasted.
And I actually mean that now. I had five drinks (some of them girly) in the span of about an hour. I am very lightheaded. The only reason I’m back in my room is to make sure my roommate, who is leaving at this hour, isn’t stealing my laptop. A stupid paranoia, but better not to worry than to have it gnawing at you.
So, let’s see what this drunkenness can do.
If only there were more single women here who weren’t scary.The people I’ve been hanging around are mostly in couples. And the lone single women that I know of doesn’t seem that interested in me. But a new crop of people arrived today. Hope springs eternal.
Back to the party.

Do I slur when I type? Be honest.