How not to spend 12 hours in London

I can’t do anything right. Not even live like a homeless person.
I put my suitcase into storage and wandered around London. I always seem to gravitate to the Westminster area here, so I can say the London Eye lights up well. A person had said the Soho area, near Charing cross station, never sleeps, so I headed there. I did find some bars, but none seemed that good to me. I’m picky.
I wandered down an avenue through a park. It ended at a statue in front of a bank. A nearby map corrected me. That’s no bank! That’s where my sovereign lives.
Eventually I found myself back at the train station. I looked around for some of the hostels that supposedly litter the area. I couldn’t find any. So instead of wild partying in London, I waited in a chair at the station. Essentially like a homeless person. Which, let’s not fool ourselves, I was. The place was cold so I didn’t have much luck sleeping. I assumed it was because the station has holes in the walls for the trains, so outside air was keeping it frigid. No. I found out later the A/C was going on the whole time. I would have been better resting outside.
At 7:00 AM the luggage storage opened and the subways would start. So now all I have to do is collect my luggage and go to Heathrow. Check in closes at 11:00 AM. Plenty of time. (I later thought I should have gone around while things were opening and had a breakfast.)
Except the London Underground hates tourists. A convenient line was closed down, but it was easy to work around that. Far more difficult was that the DLR, the only line running to the hotel with my luggage, was completely shut down. It took me fifteen minutes to learn they had buses running to compensate. These were quite a bit slower.
So, get off at the correct station, hop on bus, go to hotel, get other luggage (oh, this feels heavy), get back on the bus, back to the station, then Jubilee line to the Piccadilly line that will take me to Heathrow.
Time was getting close. I arrived fifteen minutes before check-in closed. Actually, that helped me; I got to jump the queue in places. A couple who were also jumping the queue were just a bit behind me and they didn’t make it. They’re now going to Calgary.
Right now, I’m on my flight. My luggage all weighed a correct amount (barely). That is a huge relief. Of course, the only thing I’ve eaten in the past 24 hours has been a street vendor hot dog. The last drink before the flight was a coke at 3:00 in the afternoon yesterday. (They gave me some water when I boarded.)
I’m tired.