I decided to go to bed early. Then I realize 2:30 AM is not early. Tomorrow is essentially the last day, so I’m hoping for a good sleep tonight.

During the Karaoke, there was someone who must have been confused as to which resort she was at. The lyrics had changed to something raunchy and she became rather upset.

Go to “Breezes” if you want a family atmosphere.

I think I may have found a use for alcohol. Last monday I was still drinking and I thought I was tolerable for Karaoke. I just did another and didn’t sound nearly as good.

Or was that just the impression alcohol gave me?

In either case, I’m glad I wasn’t drinking. Otherwise I would be suicidally depressed over the camera loss. Mind you, the pity attention has been nice, but I need to rise above that.

I’m pondering how to handle the loss. I’ve been taking daily pictures of the construction across the street from my condo. Do I stop that now?

I think my PADI card was in the case, so is it worth getting another. I may not dive again after the last burn.

Well, be careful what you talk about. My camera has been stolen. There was a pool party. I put it with my stuff and later, my stuff was still there, but the camera was gone.

I’m not too concerned about the pictures because a friend here wanted copies so I let him download them onto his computer. I just need to get them back. I’m only missing less than a dozen pictures, and they were taken at the same time as a friend was taking some too.

But still, I lost my camera.

The pool party was fun, but it feels tainted now. They had wrestling matches. I watched Amrita take down a Canadian far too easily, so I went up to defend my country. Then the referee privately told me to take a dive. Really, I’m bigger than her, have more reach and weigh more.

I did put up a better show and actually won one of the bouts. She is light enough to lift off the ground.

Afterwards I talked to her about wrestling and she talked about how in fake wrestling she never wants to wrestle a drunk person and there were a lot of those there.

Another reason not to drink.

For dinner I was invited to join a bunch of people at Pastafari restaurant. I wasn’t the best conversationalist because I was sort of depressed. I’ll try and get over it before Karaoke tonight.

I think I’m beginning to see the camera I brought as a curse for several reasons.

Instead of enjoying a performance, I take pictures, usually not of magazine quality. So later I can have a bad picture of an event that I forgot because I wasn’t paying attention to it, but the camera instead.

Also, during the party tonight I took pictures instead of mingling. It broke the ice, but I never got to know anyone better. I would come into their orbit, snap, snap, and then move along after a few minutes of conversation.

I sleep now. No scuba diving tomorrow, no excursions. I finally get to sleep late.

My watch died.

It feels like losing an arm. I use it all the time, and it bothers me when I don’t know if I’m late. For instance, tonight, dinner is at 7:00 and I’m supposed to help with a fashion show at 8:10.

I don’t need this pressure.

It is proudly labeled Water Resistant to 100 meters. That is apparently a lie. This morning it didn’t go deeper than 2 meters during an excursion to Dunn’s River Falls.

We clambered onto a bus and took a 45 minute trip to Ocho Rios. There we boarded a 60 foot catamaran. It took us out a bit and then let us snorkel in a reef area. That was nice. So far I haven’t been able to swim properly here. The beaches at the resort are very shallow, and scuba diving isn’t floating, but more controlled sinking.

The best part was when the guide took a sea urchin and did something to it so that fish wanted to eat it. Little fish swarmed all over it. He passed it around so I got to hold it for awhile. Urchins are prickly, but don’t sting. Of course I can’t speak for the black ones which I’m told are a different story.

Off the side of the boat I bought a conch shell from a guy paddling around on a kayak. I don’t know why, my mother has two of them.

After that, the catamaran took us to Dunn’s river falls. It’s a treat because you don’t climb up a trail, but up the river itself. It was surprisingly easy, and not very slippery. But you do get very wet.

Too wet for a watch.

My camera survived better. I had it in a plastic gift shop bag, knotted at the top and it still seemed to work.

After the falls, we cruised on the boat, drinking and having fun, before going back to Ocho Rios. That’s when I noticed my watch starting to die.

It reset itself on the bus back. I set it to the correct time, but it kept resetting to midnight. At the resort I thought I would try to dry it out under a hand dryer. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. No screen now, just a humming when you put it up to your ear.

On the bus I heard Robert make an observation about how when someone is talking to a beautiful woman, other men will come up and talk to her as if you weren’t there. Ironic, because he did the same thing to me later.

At lunch I went on stage for games, which involved putting people in lewd positions.

I did some juggling lessons and swam in the ocean. I’m tired, so I took it easy.

Tomorrow I’m going on an excursion to Dunn’s river falls. It should be a good change of pace.

The scuba diving was bad. The waves were getting large so they were only going to do the deep water dive. We all got in the ocean, but I couldn’t equalize fast enough going down, and I was told to leave the pool.

When the others came back, I kept hearing about how it was the greatest dive ever. A tame sea turtle came up and allowed itself to be touched.

My consolation prize was that some dolphins swam with the dive boat. I got to see them leaping from the water in front of it.

Veronica was in a different boat. She was taking the training course.

Funny story about the snoring.

My roommate, Anthony, moved out and Bart moved in. Bart didn’t show up until 8:00 AM this morning, so I had the room to myself.

However, I talked to Bart’s old roommate, John, at breakfast this morning. He was a snorer and was supposed to be able to stand the rumblings of Anthony.

He couldn’t. After 45 minutes he left and slept on a hammock. He was amazed I had stood it for two nights. I feel a bit guilty, but not enough to tolerate a snorer again.

My roommate situation might be working out. Bart, two doors down has the same problem, so he’ll move into my room. Last night my roommate showed up late and did the snoring, but I was deep enough in sleep to mostly stay there.

This morning I did some scuba diving. The first dive was to 92 feet for 27 minutes. It didn’t go well because I had trouble equalizing the pressure, so it took too long to get down there. And there wasn’t much to see anyway.

The second dive was to 41 feet for 36 minutes. It was much nicer. I was better at equalizing and it was to a shipwreck. That was cool. One diver had an underwater camera and took both pictures and a movie. I need to get a copy of them.

I didn’t trust my watch, so I left it on the boat.

Veronica is going diving tomorrow morning so I’ll join her for that.

This was a good evening.

I helped with the fashion show. It was hot and sweaty and there were twelve girls there in need of help tying up their fabulous corsets.

I was a gentleman the entire time.

No touching or feeling inappropriate places. No lewd comments. Just being helpful and bringing them water when they needed it.

Afterwards I joined them for dinner.

The organizer of all the fashion shows, Indra, knows me now and seems eager for my help on other nights. My only regret is that I didn’t see the show.

At the disco after, Nicolette complimented me on my behavior and that it would play well for me during this week.

At midnight there was the Karaoke party. I think my singing has improved since last year. I’m trying to focus on singing properly instead of belting out as loud as possible.

The event was hosted by Veronica. I helped her with her equipment and wandered with her awhile after. When she joined the other singers for the midnight (after two?) buffet, I wished her goodnight and left. I have to scuba dive early tomorrow and I can’t guarantee a good night’s sleep. I hope I don’t regret that later. A book I read about picking up women says to think of yourself as the prize and don’t bend to a pretty women’s every whim.

This not drinking thing is working well. I haven’t been depressed and I’m having a good time.

Like I said, hopefully no regrets. Otherwise I’m going to hate scuba forever.

Today was laid back.

In the morning I wandered and took pictures of people. I watched Jonathan give some bullwhip lessons.

Jean, an artist, invited me to lie with her on the beach. That was pleasant. While doing that, there was a scavenger hunt announced. Participation in it was low, so I was able to score three bottles of rum. I gave one to Jean.

I joined her for lunch too. For the record, she has a boyfriend. So nothing is going to happen, but she is a very nice person from Minnesota.

She’s in a fashion show tonight. I’m not going to be in it, but I’ve volunteered to help. I’ll be in the back, lacing nubile young women into corsets.

I’m surprised there weren’t more volunteers.

Scuba diving tomorrow.

Last night did not go well. The snoring guy sounded like a bullhorn was strapped to his face. He’s also a member of the polar bear club, so he likes it cold and has set the air conditioner to 17 degrees. I don’t actually recall sleeping. I think I must have because I’ve been fairly cognizant most of today.

I talked to the organizer and he said he would look into it, but it doesn’t look good for tonight.

I might try a hammock outside.

Sleepy now. Snoring guy is quieter. I’m tired. We’re good to go.

There is irony going around.

Although I have all my luggage, empirical evidence shows I didn’t pack toothpaste. I have a small travel bottle that I think is over ten years old. I don’t think it did much good.

And I forgot to go to the store to get more until ten minutes after it closed.

Also, I met my roommate for five seconds as he was switched out on me for a guy named Anthony. He’s fat and he snores.

Great.

Not really. No.

In other news, I’ve decided no more alcohol. I’m finding that a few hours after having a drink I get really depressed. It goes away, but I guess it’s my version of a hangover.

Needless to say, I got very depressed.

Hoorah!

I had to leave the party because of a clothing malfunction. That’s upsetting, but my missing suitcase was outside the door.

The first order of business: I have shaved.

Oh, and I have a roommate. At least I have his stuff in my room. He could be anyone.

Good news. My luggage is in the country. I should have it tonight via Air Canada delivery.

Today was a low key day. I tried to sleep in, but that’s hard to do in an unfamiliar place. I had breakfast with Jonathan and his mate Vahni. Nice couple. They seem to have made a summer project to find me a girl. I’m not disagreeing with them.

Basically I talked with the incoming people and relaxed. Renewed old acquaintances as it were. I didn’t do anything exciting.

That’s for tonight.

Still no roommate.

It’s hot and sweaty here. I’m still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. I need to take a shower then change for a cocktail party. I think I’ll try a vodka slushie.

I arrived at the resort and tried to get my room. It was about 7:00 and I was tired and cranky. On the bus was a guy who wouldn’t shut up and had the most annoying Texan twang. Another guy, a local, kept trying to sell me marijuana. And when that failed, he tried cocaine and harder drugs. My mood didn’t especially improve when the key provided didn’t open the door to my room.

Eventually it was sorted out and I got myself some dinner. Not great fare, but it filled a void.

I looked around for people I knew. Since this was an annual event I was expecting to see a familiar face, but I couldn’t find anyone.

And it was still raining.

Eventually I did spot Marc from Belgium. Finally someone I recognized. He introduced me to Holly and Al. As a group, they had decided to go back to the nude pool. I said I would join them later.

Before that I talked to a nice girl, Lisa, who seemed to be the resorts masseuse. She offered to give me one later, but first I wanted to contact Air Canada to see about my luggage. (Bad prioritizing there, but I wanted to stop worrying.)

My luggage is still in Toronto. The Air Canada person claims they have a 97% success rate in getting luggage to destinations within 24 hours. Here’s hoping. I only have the contact lenses I’m wearing, and they’re daily-wears. If I take them out, they don’t go back in.

Hopefully I’ll have a suitcase tomorrow.

I went back to Lisa, and she started describing the massage options. As she went along, they started getting out of the traditional massages they teach at accredited institutions. Maybe she’s just very friendly and likes me? Then she mentions prices for services rendered. Abort! Abort! Abort!

I joined the others in the nude pool.

When it rains in Jamaica, it really rains.

I’m officially in Jamaica, but it still hasn’t sunk in. Mainly because the stress level is still too high.

For example, if you want high stress, watch the baggage carousal shut down while you are still missing a suitcase. That’s my current situation.

I think it was because the plane was so full, extra baggage has been delayed until tomorrow. I’m really hoping it comes then because I’m missing all my toiletries.

And it is raining.

I need a vacation.