Ten minutes into the future

Then there are other times we it is good that I am not emotional. But I still need the opportunity to vent. Oh look, a blog!
On Sunday I went for a run in Terwillegar park. It had rained previously so it was muddy. Thankfully I had planned ahead and brought along some plastic shopping bags with me. So I took my shoes off and put them in the bags and drove off in my socks.
Except that I didn’t go directly home. I had to go to Costco for some supplies. So I parked, opened the door, put my shoes outside, slipped my feet in and off I went. Nothing exciting there.
When I was done, I had to reverse the process. I opened the door, sat down and started taking off my shoes. This was when things got interesting…
I was parked next to a red Mustang. It looked fairly old, and was in rough shape. The side had caved in from some accident. I had to open my door enough so that it was touching this car, but I had made sure to do it gently.
And while I was sitting, getting my shoes off, a man from down the parking lot yells at me. “Get your f*%&ing door off my car!” This man was the very picture of trailer park trash. In my non-emotional state I just said “I wasn’t hitting your car, but okay.” I was done with my shoes, I closed the door, and drove off.
It was not worth it to get into an argument with this man.
But ten minutes later I really wanted to point out all his problems. We had both gone our separate ways, nothing would be accomplished, but in my delusion it would have felt good to. I think I get angry when people swear at me.
“Even if I had banged your car no one would have noticed. But I guess it is your baby. So you feel justified in using that kind of language in front of your wife and actual baby.”
Yeah, ten minutes later Erik has all the answers.

To be the passionate one

I wish I could be more immediate with my emotions
When I am with people, my brain has a tendency to turn off. I don’t overthink what I am doing. It is only when I have had time to reflect on my thoughts do I realize that something may have happened that upset me.
Which made today bad. Something happened yesterday that only after sleeping on it, did I realize the betrayal that had happened. If I had been in the moment, I may have been able to do something about it and talked it out. Instead it simmered all of today. Put me into a bit of depression too.
I don’t like this.
Hopefully sleeping on it tonight will make tomorrow better.
But, if I was a more passionate person, I would get into arguments more.