I like to keep busy. Maybe it makes me a more interesting person, but I also hate being left alone with my thoughts. They are invariably dark and depressing. Better to not give them a chance to fester.
Today is a good example. My family is visiting and there was an incident. I don’t want to go into details. And I will admit that I shouldn’t have been yelling at my sister, but in my defence, when someone is yelling at you to stop the car, maybe you should stop.
At breakfast, I tried to put it behind me. Be happy and forget it ever happened. It is very important to me that everyone around me be happy. But then my sister did something that hurts me a lot. She sulked. She wanted an apology. I felt I was in the right, but eventually it became apparent that she was holding the vacation hostage and would not let it go. Until I apologized, she was going to ruin it for everyone. So I did, and the vacation continued.
I had to leave the family for awhile to go to the pool and do aquajogging. For 90 minutes. And for 90 minutes I was alone with my thoughts. There was nothing to really distract me. The synchronized swimmers were too young, and no one was diving off the high boards. Boring.
So in my thoughts I realized some things. I don’t recall my sister apologizing to me. She hurt me a lot by preventing me from making people happy, and so I apologized. But since the favour was never returned, I’m essentially in the wrong. How I feel is not important. And I bottle up my feelings so that people can have a good time, so she may not even know that I’m really angry with her.
Was she manipulating me? She is a therapist so she probably knows how to. Or is this just another example of how men are always wrong? I always thought that only applied with girlfriends and not sisters.
Anyway, I’m hoping by venting here I can continue to bottle the feelings and give my family a good vacation. Thanks for listening.

I’m getting better. My physical therapist says it is happening quickly. And I really want to get back to running. But with the news that things are progressing well, I’m starting to wonder if I should go back to my plan of doing three ultras this year. For some reason, ultras sell out quickly, so if I want to sign up, I need to do it sooner than later, or there might not be a later. But the first one would be in May. Is that too soon?
I’m having trouble with my eating habits. Now that I’m not running, I’m cutting down on what I eat. I worry about getting fat. The problem is that I’m not sure what my intake should be. When I was running stupid distances each week, I could gorge myself more than I wanted to ear. Since I’m not running, I’ve cut down and stopped impulse buying pies. But that is starting to backfire. My exercise regime includes aquajogging, and that has been increasing quite steadily. I’m aquajogging three times a week, when I used to run only two times a week. Maybe I do need more calories?
Aquajogging is boring, but it is also frustrating. I suppose I should be thankful I got injured in winter, so I don’t have to miss out on nice outdoor running. Unfortunately, many other people have the same idea. Or I should say, many other clubs have the same idea. I keep finding that the Kinsmen pool is booked, completely, and I can’t do my swim except at odd hours. Yesterday I couldn’t go until 9:00 at night. On Sunday, my plan to go in the morning was thwarted by an organized game of canoe polo. I could only go after 4:00 when they were having a celebratory beer in the change room.
I definitely need to get better by May; that’s when road access home from the Kinsmen gets shut off.

I tried speed dating again tonight. It was sort of an impulse thing. I got an email from them giving a big discount for men; they didn’t have enough. I had no plans for tonight, so off I went. I figured it would be better to do it at the last minute, that way I don’t have time to dwell on it in my head and overthink things.
It was held at the zoo, so while waiting to start, and during the “interviews” the zookeepers came around with various animals and showed them off. I got to fondle a ball python, a bearded dragon, a skunk and an armadillo. A ferret did get a little friendly with me. Pant legs are apparently interesting.
The event itself went okay. I did find it mentally exhausting though. Wait, that’s not right… Socially exhausting! By the end I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
There was one girl there that I would have liked to talk to, but I missed her by one number. I tried talking a bit at the end with her, but I didn’t have the social energy to do it for long, and she fled the event fairly quickly.
Overall, good time. But I’m cranky and tired now.

I was all set to hate the Kinsmen Sports Centre today. I was going to put them in the same hole as MEC; places that pretend to be good for you but secretly hate you. But, they went above and beyond the call of duty, so MEC stays in the “hate hole” alone.
The physical therapist I saw yesterday wanted me to do aquajogging, but only for fifteen minutes. Aquajogging is just being in the pool with a flotation belt and pretending to jog. It exercises your running muscles, but without impact. Don’t lean forward and do real swimming though; I forget why, but I was told not to.
The only pool I really know is the Kinsmen so I headed back there. I even checked yesterday and they said they always keep a lane open for people doing aquajogging. Before I entered, I checked with the front counter to see if there were any options that would be cheaper for someone only wanting to do fifteen minutes of aquajogging. No. So full price. $8.
I go in, change, and then go to the pool. I don’t see where I’m supposed to go. After consulting with a lifeguard I find out that the deep pool is completely used. Synchronized swimmers abound, next to swimming lessons. There is no place for me to go aquajogging. The best I could do was the warm up pool which comes up to my belly. I still went there, doing fifteen minutes of improper aquajogging. I was more horizontal than I should. Silently, I grumbled.
Afterwards I went to complain about the scenario. I had to wait awhile and I did have a nice conversation with a police officer keeping watch. I was only expecting to have my complaint registered, but they gave me two free passes. So, I think I’ve come out ahead. Go Kinsmen!
My knee does feel a bit better now. Use it or lose it?

Okay, after seeing the physical therapist, there is new news on my knee. Her prognosis is torn cartilage. There is some inflammation and swelling. This is not good. I’m going to have to try alternate exercises for awhile. Hopefully it will heal quickly.
This is making my plans for ultramarathons in May look untenable. And if I can’t do those, I’m not sure I want to do the Lost Soul in September. I mean, what is the point if I can’t make it part of the Alberta Triple? Well, hopefully it won’t sell out in the near future and I’ll have a better idea before it does.
No chance of me skiing though.