At lunch I went on stage for games, which involved putting people in lewd positions.

I did some juggling lessons and swam in the ocean. I’m tired, so I took it easy.

Tomorrow I’m going on an excursion to Dunn’s river falls. It should be a good change of pace.

The scuba diving was bad. The waves were getting large so they were only going to do the deep water dive. We all got in the ocean, but I couldn’t equalize fast enough going down, and I was told to leave the pool.

When the others came back, I kept hearing about how it was the greatest dive ever. A tame sea turtle came up and allowed itself to be touched.

My consolation prize was that some dolphins swam with the dive boat. I got to see them leaping from the water in front of it.

Veronica was in a different boat. She was taking the training course.

Funny story about the snoring.

My roommate, Anthony, moved out and Bart moved in. Bart didn’t show up until 8:00 AM this morning, so I had the room to myself.

However, I talked to Bart’s old roommate, John, at breakfast this morning. He was a snorer and was supposed to be able to stand the rumblings of Anthony.

He couldn’t. After 45 minutes he left and slept on a hammock. He was amazed I had stood it for two nights. I feel a bit guilty, but not enough to tolerate a snorer again.

My roommate situation might be working out. Bart, two doors down has the same problem, so he’ll move into my room. Last night my roommate showed up late and did the snoring, but I was deep enough in sleep to mostly stay there.

This morning I did some scuba diving. The first dive was to 92 feet for 27 minutes. It didn’t go well because I had trouble equalizing the pressure, so it took too long to get down there. And there wasn’t much to see anyway.

The second dive was to 41 feet for 36 minutes. It was much nicer. I was better at equalizing and it was to a shipwreck. That was cool. One diver had an underwater camera and took both pictures and a movie. I need to get a copy of them.

I didn’t trust my watch, so I left it on the boat.

Veronica is going diving tomorrow morning so I’ll join her for that.

This was a good evening.

I helped with the fashion show. It was hot and sweaty and there were twelve girls there in need of help tying up their fabulous corsets.

I was a gentleman the entire time.

No touching or feeling inappropriate places. No lewd comments. Just being helpful and bringing them water when they needed it.

Afterwards I joined them for dinner.

The organizer of all the fashion shows, Indra, knows me now and seems eager for my help on other nights. My only regret is that I didn’t see the show.

At the disco after, Nicolette complimented me on my behavior and that it would play well for me during this week.

At midnight there was the Karaoke party. I think my singing has improved since last year. I’m trying to focus on singing properly instead of belting out as loud as possible.

The event was hosted by Veronica. I helped her with her equipment and wandered with her awhile after. When she joined the other singers for the midnight (after two?) buffet, I wished her goodnight and left. I have to scuba dive early tomorrow and I can’t guarantee a good night’s sleep. I hope I don’t regret that later. A book I read about picking up women says to think of yourself as the prize and don’t bend to a pretty women’s every whim.

This not drinking thing is working well. I haven’t been depressed and I’m having a good time.

Like I said, hopefully no regrets. Otherwise I’m going to hate scuba forever.

Today was laid back.

In the morning I wandered and took pictures of people. I watched Jonathan give some bullwhip lessons.

Jean, an artist, invited me to lie with her on the beach. That was pleasant. While doing that, there was a scavenger hunt announced. Participation in it was low, so I was able to score three bottles of rum. I gave one to Jean.

I joined her for lunch too. For the record, she has a boyfriend. So nothing is going to happen, but she is a very nice person from Minnesota.

She’s in a fashion show tonight. I’m not going to be in it, but I’ve volunteered to help. I’ll be in the back, lacing nubile young women into corsets.

I’m surprised there weren’t more volunteers.

Scuba diving tomorrow.

Last night did not go well. The snoring guy sounded like a bullhorn was strapped to his face. He’s also a member of the polar bear club, so he likes it cold and has set the air conditioner to 17 degrees. I don’t actually recall sleeping. I think I must have because I’ve been fairly cognizant most of today.

I talked to the organizer and he said he would look into it, but it doesn’t look good for tonight.

I might try a hammock outside.

Sleepy now. Snoring guy is quieter. I’m tired. We’re good to go.

There is irony going around.

Although I have all my luggage, empirical evidence shows I didn’t pack toothpaste. I have a small travel bottle that I think is over ten years old. I don’t think it did much good.

And I forgot to go to the store to get more until ten minutes after it closed.

Also, I met my roommate for five seconds as he was switched out on me for a guy named Anthony. He’s fat and he snores.

Great.

Not really. No.

In other news, I’ve decided no more alcohol. I’m finding that a few hours after having a drink I get really depressed. It goes away, but I guess it’s my version of a hangover.

Needless to say, I got very depressed.

Hoorah!

I had to leave the party because of a clothing malfunction. That’s upsetting, but my missing suitcase was outside the door.

The first order of business: I have shaved.

Oh, and I have a roommate. At least I have his stuff in my room. He could be anyone.

Good news. My luggage is in the country. I should have it tonight via Air Canada delivery.

Today was a low key day. I tried to sleep in, but that’s hard to do in an unfamiliar place. I had breakfast with Jonathan and his mate Vahni. Nice couple. They seem to have made a summer project to find me a girl. I’m not disagreeing with them.

Basically I talked with the incoming people and relaxed. Renewed old acquaintances as it were. I didn’t do anything exciting.

That’s for tonight.

Still no roommate.

It’s hot and sweaty here. I’m still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. I need to take a shower then change for a cocktail party. I think I’ll try a vodka slushie.

I arrived at the resort and tried to get my room. It was about 7:00 and I was tired and cranky. On the bus was a guy who wouldn’t shut up and had the most annoying Texan twang. Another guy, a local, kept trying to sell me marijuana. And when that failed, he tried cocaine and harder drugs. My mood didn’t especially improve when the key provided didn’t open the door to my room.

Eventually it was sorted out and I got myself some dinner. Not great fare, but it filled a void.

I looked around for people I knew. Since this was an annual event I was expecting to see a familiar face, but I couldn’t find anyone.

And it was still raining.

Eventually I did spot Marc from Belgium. Finally someone I recognized. He introduced me to Holly and Al. As a group, they had decided to go back to the nude pool. I said I would join them later.

Before that I talked to a nice girl, Lisa, who seemed to be the resorts masseuse. She offered to give me one later, but first I wanted to contact Air Canada to see about my luggage. (Bad prioritizing there, but I wanted to stop worrying.)

My luggage is still in Toronto. The Air Canada person claims they have a 97% success rate in getting luggage to destinations within 24 hours. Here’s hoping. I only have the contact lenses I’m wearing, and they’re daily-wears. If I take them out, they don’t go back in.

Hopefully I’ll have a suitcase tomorrow.

I went back to Lisa, and she started describing the massage options. As she went along, they started getting out of the traditional massages they teach at accredited institutions. Maybe she’s just very friendly and likes me? Then she mentions prices for services rendered. Abort! Abort! Abort!

I joined the others in the nude pool.

When it rains in Jamaica, it really rains.

I’m officially in Jamaica, but it still hasn’t sunk in. Mainly because the stress level is still too high.

For example, if you want high stress, watch the baggage carousal shut down while you are still missing a suitcase. That’s my current situation.

I think it was because the plane was so full, extra baggage has been delayed until tomorrow. I’m really hoping it comes then because I’m missing all my toiletries.

And it is raining.

I need a vacation.

The inflight movie for this leg was The Island. It was good. I do wonder if Steve Buscemi is fated to die in every movie he’s in.

For the past week I’ve been fighting a cold. I’m pumping myself full of vitamins and trying to get sleep. The latter hasn’t really been working out. I think I’ve gotten an hour’s sleep since I woke up yesterday morning, and that hour was a fake sleep.

I’m hoping I can keep this sickness as minimal as possible. You can’t go scuba diving with congestion. And sniffling doesn’t make a good impression with unattached women. But it’s only a feeling of phlegm in the back of the throat. So I think it isn’t obvious.

It’s been going up and down for awhile. I found a can of coke in a high altitude plane seemed to leave me in the best state.

Wow. PST. I haven’t had that in awhile. Alberta has spoiled me.

I’m having breakfast in the Toronto airport, enjoying a “Toasted Western”. Maybe “enjoying” is too strong a verb. “Tolerating”. But I need food. From observation Air Canada doesn’t feed people anymore unless they pay extra.

Cheapskates. One bankruptcy protection and all the perks go out the window.

The natives here are enthralled by the lights of the television broadcasting a hockey game. I shall avoid eye contact. They might sense that I do not support the “home team” and become aggressive.

I didn’t sleep much on the flight. Well, not at all, but I did pretend for awhile. The rest of the time was spent watching Must Love Dogs. A predictable romantic comedy.

I should have slept.

I’m at the Edmonton airport now. I got everything together and I hope I’m not missing anything. I could have used an extra watch though.

I bought my current watch over a year ago, and in theory, it is water resistant to 100 meters. But last spring condensation formed inside it after I was walking in the rain. It eventually went away so I couldn’t justify sending it back to Timex for repairs, but the problem flares up every so often.

Since I’m planning on testing its water resistance by scuba diving, I would have liked to have a spare. But I couldn’t find my old one, so here we are.

Security was dead, but there were about eight officials waiting around. So my backpack got their full attention. I think a trainee was involved.

I’m glad I didn’t bring my computer. Part of me would have liked to so I could keep a better journal by typing instead of abusing my horrid skill at cursive writing. I could also load camera pictures directly. But this is a vacation. No computers.

So I’m about to head off to Jamaica. I have a friend picking me up in fifteen minutes. Right now I’m just nervous if I’m forgetting anything.