I went to see The Winter’s Tale today at the River City Shakespeare Festival. My previous experience with this work was The Winter’s Tale Project, which was a lovely musical. (The fact that it was a musical and that I liked it should speak volumes.) That performance had good tunes and poked fun at itself.
And it had sexy sheep.
Now this performance left a bad taste in my mouth. The main reason people go to see The Winter’s Tale is because of the “Exit, pursued by bear” stage direction.
They go to see the bear!
This performance had no bear. Not even a hint of a bear. Instead some women in white danced around to, I don’t know, metaphorically represent the bear? It was wrong, and I can not support this. I would not recommend this show to anyone.
Other than that it was fine. Good acting. Nice sets. Everything that you would need to make a good Shakespeare, if only it didn’t have that ugly wart of bearlessness.

My Visa bill came today. I was expecting it to be high because of charges made to support a European vacation. And they were on there, and it was high.
A little too high.
There were some other charges I didn’t recognize.
In Mississauga.
For “Solo Mobile”.
Four of them.
All for the same amount.

I don’t own a cell phone.

I do believe my credit card has been compromised.
When I contacted the fraud department, there were actually seven charges to “Solo Mobile”. Now my card has been cancelled. Which will make grocery shopping tomorrow somewhat awkward.
I should have a new card soon enough though. It is more of an inconvenience than anything.

During the day it is just hot.
At night, it is actually nice and cool outside.
But inside, it still remains warm. The air that has been heated just doesn’t leave and lingers. I don’t have the entire floor of my building to myself, so I can’t open windows on opposite sides of my home to get a cross breeze.
I decided to experiment.
My theory is that if I can get the place filled with cool air at night, and then close it up and darken the place during the day, my condo will remain cooler.
So, to test my hypothesis, I’ve constructed a do-it-yourself air conditioner. Using the A/C term liberally. My fan only moves the stagnant hot air around inside, but never really does a good job of replacing it with the outside cool air. So, I took some garbage bags and made a large tube. One end is attached to the output of my fan, the other is attached to a window leading outside.
I’ve now opened up all the windows in other rooms. So, in theory, the fan will pump out the warm air from one distant window, and cool outside air will waft in from others all night. Then tomorrow morning, I will close all the windows and hope it stays cool.

Heat has made me desperate.

Yesterday I went to the Gimbel Eye Centre to see what it would take to have a large industrial laser pointed at my eyes and allowed to have its way with me.
Part of the evaluation is a pupil dilation formula in the eyes. In other words, I’m not supposed to drive afterwards. With my eyes in this funky state, bright lights hurt and there is trouble focusing. So I got a carpool to work, and then took a cab to the eye centre.
In theory, the smart thing to do would be to take a cab home. Or at least a bus. But when have I ever done the smart thing. You’re reading about a guy who likes to go running, but is not permitted to. Hell yeah! I’m walking home.
On what was probably the brightest day of the year.
Sunglasses were absolutely necessary. And they did help, but a lot of the time I was keeping the sunward eye closed, and the other as squinted as possible.
Oliver Square seems like a very nice open-air shopping place. They even have an M&M Meat shop there. Always a fine place to get bachelor chow. And they had a special on some very nice bacon-wrapped filet mignon. So of course I go in and pick some up. What could be the problem. Other than that this stuff needs to be kept frozen. Did I mention it was also the hottest day of the year. No problem. I’ll walk straight home quickly.
And I promptly cross the road and enter the Little Caesars and order a dinner.
So instead of walking home quickly, I’m sauntering downtown munching a pizza.
Still half blind.

It took an an hour and twenty-five minutes to make the whole trip.

It was actually an hour wait in total for the doctor. Luckily I had brought my iPod and could listen to a podcast of Quirks and Quarks.
The doctor doesn’t think I need a bone scan, which is good. Apparently they take over two hours to perform. Since it has been getting better in the past two weeks (and doesn’t hurt all the time), he thinks I might just have a bone bruise. He’s prescribed an x-ray so we can determine if it is. I hope! It would mean I wouldn’t be off my feet for so long. He was concerned that I should keep exercising, otherwise all the leg muscles will deteriorate. And I worked hard for those muscles.
I can run, but only if I feel it is okay; If the level of pain isn’t too bad. I might have to find alternate exercise. I really don’t like swimming for exercise. I’d be tempted to go bicycling, except I don’t have one. Rollerblading isn’t that recommended.
Apparently I’m really cheap when it comes to exercise. I’m only willing to fork out for a pair of running shoes.
I would have gone to the x-ray tonight, but there doesn’t seem to be a huge rush. And I have stuff to do to prepare for an eye doctor appointment tomorrow. I’ll try going Friday, or Saturday.
I guess this is medical week for me.

Crud! Crud! Crud!
It appears my yearly injury has happened again. I like to say that it happens in the Spring, or the first half of the year. Now I guess I have to say it is Spring or Summer.
That ache in my ankle; I went to a physical therapist to get an opinion on it. She thinks it might be a stress fracture. (i.e. No running for three months.) To be certain though, I need to get a bone scan.
So I went to a doctor after work. Now I’m waiting half an hour for a general practitioner to give me a prescription so I can get one.
Of course since the doctor is a ten minute walk from where I live, I went home. I’ll pop back soon enough.

I got back into programming my own application again. It has been a long time, so I started simple:
The window for controlling the sea level of the world being generated had a minor defect. When it first came up it didn’t display a proper value for the percentage of the world covered in water. The instant the sea level was changed it would correct itself, but it still was annoying.
Now it isn’t.
Progress would have gone faster if Wikipedia hadn’t totally distracted me. I started out with trying to figure out what was the best description for an Ark (Hey, I was flooding the world!) and from there I eventually ended up in a discussion of Japan’s surrender during the second world war.
Can you guess the encyclopedia steps needed to get there?

And I would like to thank Admiral Ackbar for the title quote.

After watching the Robot Chicken Star Wars Special I had a craving to watch Return of the Jedi.

The movie is a lot better, and shorter, if you skip all the Ewoks.

I should have been more productive. Then I found some old copies of World of Puzzles magazines up to no good.
Of course, having the attention span of a goldfish, I started going through them. I have never successfully finished more than a handful of the puzzles in these magazines so there are always lots more to do.
These are old magazines from 2001.
Before Google really got popular.
Oh look, my desk has a laptop on it!
Trying to complete quotes of people is a lot easier when you figure out one specific word in the quote and then google it.

Let’s consider the plot of reading a Lawrence Watt-Evans novel. I do not meant the plot of the book itself.
It follows a strict pattern that cannot be deviated from.

1. Obtain the book in question.
2. Let it sit on bedside table for several days.
3. On a weekday evening, read a chapter before going to sleep.
4. The next weekday evening, repeat.
5. On the following day, typically a Saturday, instead of getting up, plan to read a single chapter.
6. Place finished book on bookshelf.

Do not question the plan. The plan is sound.

I woke up with a nasty headache. My left eyeball hurt. Half an hour before I got up I put a cold pack on it to try and relieve the pressure/pain.
I was seriously thinking of calling in sick today. Then I saw the weather report. +33.
Work has air conditioning. Home does not.

This was the best movie ever!
It could have been bad, but no, it was great! It had a good source material of giant robots fighting and didn’t try to deviate from that and make it a love story.
And the pacing was good. The cool CGI never becomes boring CGI. The fighting doesn’t last for so long that you tire of it. It changes gears and you have a few moments of drama. Then back to the giant robots.
And nobody is outright stupid! The military is actually doing the right thing most of the time.
It didn’t stay completely true to the original cartoon, and I’m not disappointed that it didn’t. The cartoons don’t hold up well when you are an adult. But they had the few moments that harken back. Megatron from the start accuses Starscream of failing him. As it was meant to be. And okay, Megatron doesn’t transform into a handgun. That was pretty silly when you think about it, and his origin in the movie makes much more sense. He doesn’t feel the need to deny who he is. He’s a giant robot and proud of it.
I have two minor issues. They seem to come up with a Transformers-detector. Isn’t the point of being a transformer is so that you can’t be detected? And at one point they pop the hood of an Autobot and take a look at the perfectly normal engine. Where does the robot parts go then?
Minor quibbles for an otherwise awesome movie.

Why are you still reading this. Go see it.

I really should stop blaming the day for bad moods.
More likely it is because I haven’t eaten enough.

The problem with Canada day is that it is the exact centre of the year. In other words, it is the half New Years day.
I hate the new year. It always puts me in a bit of a mood. Apparently the half is no exception.
I did get to see the fireworks though. I arrived at the park just as they were starting, with someone pre-smoking the air with the smell of marijuana. Fifteen minutes later, after an impressive show, they were over. And the crowd of people I could pretend were a party drifted off.
I went to Whyte Avenue and wandered around a bit. I settled on a bench and watched the people go by. It didn’t improve my mood. Eventually some smokers came and chased me off. And now I go to an empty home, to apparently spend time on a computer.

Something is wrong here.

We are a lazy people.
Other countries, on their national day, need to do a lot of work to dress appropriately. We have it so easy. The Americans need to wear stars and stripes. We just need to wear some combination of bright red and white. We can probably find those colors in our closet already. Or carry a can of Coke. (Classic only, not diet.) An American in red, white and blue doesn’t cut it.
I suppose it is because our botanical banner is harder to replicate. When it is flapping in the breeze, you only get to see flashes of red and white. Not the large symbol in the centre.

I just finished inhaling Deception Point, a book by Dan Brown I found in my cereal. (Actually a coupon for a book, but let’s not quibble.)
I enjoyed it. It is light reading that is easy to get through. Trashy.
I also think he is a big fan of the classical unities. In the three books of his that I have read, they all take place in one day (unity of time) and don’t have much in the way of subplots (unity of action). He needs to work on his unity of place though as geography is no match for him. Which really stretches plausibility when he confines himself with the unity of time but still manages to traipse all over the Norman areas of Europe. Or in this case, Canada to the Jersey coast and places in-between.

Today, after going out for (to?) lunch we discussed going to Best Buy. A deciding factor against going was that since it is a long weekend, it is easy enough to go on your own after work.
But going on your own isn’t as fun. When you go as a group it is a social activity. I am aware that when we get there, we all go off and do our own things. Some check out the DVDs. Others the latest cameras. A glance through the discount bin. But then we compare what we got, or discuss the latest in modern electronics.

“I get Nintendo Wii. What you get?”
“Me got Slings and Arrows season three. Good show.”
“Yours good. Mine better.”
“Ugh. You superior provider.”

A friend from out of town came back this week. He wanted to go running. I am all in favor of running. However my ankle is still feeling crummy since the relay race. So instead I took him orienteering. I thought it would be a lighter exercise. It apparently wasn’t because my ankle feels worse now.
It was nice to see my friend again. However i still feel a little down. I had come to the realization that I am not going to get around to using my Ric’s Grill gift certificate; I have no one who really seems to want to go with me. So I gave it to him. Then, like a good friend, he starts asking the hard questions. Questions I don’t have good answers for. So now I’m wondering if I am where I want to be in life…
Oh wait. It’s not introspection week.

Never mind.

Let me tell you about leg six.
It was the one after mine. While Sharon was running it, Michael was driving the convertible and I was running out into traffic from it to support her. If she needs anything I had to get it to her as quickly as possible. I also don’t want to distract her much because she likes to zone out. She likes to zone out so much while she listens to the iPod that she starts to sing out loud. (We got it on film.)
While I was in front of her, waiting with some water, another runner (cute girl too) asked if the leg was nine kilometers of nine miles. I suppose the confusion can come from it being a 100 mile relay, but this is Canada. Nine kilometers. The next question was how far is that in miles. Since she was cute we figured out the correct answer and got the information to her as quickly as possible. Men will do almost anything for a smile from a cute girl.
Leg six is almost all downhill. Almost. The last mile is uphill. And after your leg muscles have had a long time to go downhill, they don’t switch gears easily. So she complained about it to me.
Please see the profile comparisons between my leg and her leg.
Yeah, not a lot of sympathy going on here.

Today I ran my leg. It was 17 km that was one long hill. And not the good kind (downhill). This was all up. (See the profile.) Strangely, there were places where it felt like downhill, but if a car is put in neutral you find that it was still going up. Optical illusion reinforced by a more gradual slope.
The first half hour was terrible. I was breathing heavily and wondering why I had signed up for this. The headwind didn’t help. After that, it actually didn’t feel that bad. I made good progress. The last half hour was once again horrible. It was a steep hill and it killed me. I usually did “ten and ones” (run ten minutes then take a one minute walk break) but on that final hill I was down to five and ones. I think I ran out of oxygen (altitude does that), which was weird because you would think the headwind was forcing it into me.
In the end I got a time of 1:39:08, which is about two and a half minutes faster than last year. Which means I want to try and do better next year.
There was an evening barbecue. It was interrupted by a bear wandering by on a high ridge until it was scared away by people with large guns and bear bangers. It was quickly blown out of proportion with people claiming it was a grizzly. I’m waiting until it becomes a polar bear.
Now I am relaxing at the Kananaskis lodge. I thought they might have wireless internet, but it looks like I have to pay for it. I’m cheap so I’ll post this later when I do have access. I’m thinking of abusing the pool, but there is a party for our group happening. I might go in the middle of the night. I haven’t had a good soak in a long time.
Of course the problem with that plan is that I am tired now. (And sunburnt.) I’m not physical tired, but sleepy tired. Mountain air is doing that to me. The air is also dry so if I start coughing, it takes me awhile to stop. My ankle is hurting, it has been since I finished the run. (It didn’t hurt during.) And I really want to brush me teeth. They hurt from all the sugar I horked back while trying to maintain energy.

I’ve got the K-100 relay tomorrow. So today I drove down to Priddis and broke into my parent’s place. They are currently touring the east. But their house is conveniently close to where I need to be. So, hey! Free room and board. As long as I don’t mess anything up. They are coming back tomorrow so there is less pressure to make sure the house is as pristine as they left it. I can leave things in the fridge for them.
I even brought a friend. Using the term loosely. I’ve only known her for an hour, but she is on the team and needed a place to stay. So here we are.
The drive wasn’t that pleasant as Calgary was full of construction. I think we had to wait twenty minutes total on the Deerfoot trail as traffic was reduced to one lane in two separate places.
I better get a good sleep tonight. I have an uphill run tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a movie night: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
It is going to be run a bit different this time. Instead of just a movie, I’m collecting people to go to Chianti’s beforehand. If you are interested, let me know. I have already got three people who have indicated interest. I’m thinking of a 6:15 mealtime.

Now that the boring introspection stuff is over. Let’s get onto other subjects.
Many years ago I had left my old hairstylist because she was going to another business. I decided to try a new place: See magazine had rated Swizzlesticks as the best place in Edmonton. For years I went there and had a nice stylist called Melissa. She then left me to go to B.C. Before she left she recommended I go with Pamela.
I usually book my next appointment after I’ve finished the current one. The last time I went I was told that they weren’t scheduling that far in advance; Phone back in a month. I was a bit later than that and I really needed a haircut. When I did phone, I found that Pamela had gone on to become a real estate agent.
So I’ve tried someone new today. But I’ve also noticed that See magazine no longer rates Swizzlesticks as the best in Edmonton.
Now would be a good time to try a new salon…

Okay, the finale of introspection week. The personality trait I would like to get rid of?
Introspection.
I shouldn’t do it as often as I do. I should accept things and not analyze them.
Often, at a bar, if there isn’t something requiring me to pay attention (conversation, dancing, staring at half naked woman…) I’ll zone out. My mind won’t be there and I’ll think of other stuff. (Sometimes, horribly, I’ll think about what I should blog.) I won’t converse with people, and will be that creepy guy in the corner.
Live in the moment. Have fun. Take some risks.

Okay, not so much a personality trait, but another thing I would like to change.
I’d like to not act so gay.
I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But in the past I’ve had people who were surprised when I was attracted to women. “I thought you were gay.” Even a woman that I was nominally friends with for over a year.
My mother even asked.
And now a friend wants me to volunteer to be in the local gay pride parade.
I wish I could remember who said this, but I recall a good analogy. You can march in support of equal rights for blacks without people thinking you are black.

‘Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
-Abraham Lincoln

The next personality-trait change?
This one is still related to confidence, but I would really like to not feel stupid after I talk.
I constantly expect that I’m going to say something dumb or offensive, and then people will think I’m a horrible person. Which will be true.
But you can’t not talk. The person at the party who sits in the corner and says nothing: creepy. He’s not going to make any friends. He’s not going to impress any girls. He will die alone. Unmourned. And unloved. We’ll call that Plan B.
An example: I have a gift certificate for Ric’s Grill. There was a girl in my running group that seemed nice. So I asked if she would like to join me and help me use it. I tried to make it a low pressure request. I don’t think I did anything wrong. But for the next week I felt as if I had said something bad. As near as I can tell, there was no basis for this.
That is what I want to stop: The anticipation that everything I say will be wrong. A corollary of this is that I start having my own opinion instead of changing mine to match the one of the last person I talked to.

The fact that the girl in question said we should make plans after the marathon and that that was the last I’ve seen of her shouldn’t be relevant to this discussion.

That certificate expires soon. I better use it.

Continuing the week of introspection. (Did I plan this? No, it just happened.)
So someone much smarter than myself (she’s closer to a psychology degree than I ever will be) asked me what is the person I would like to be.
This is a hard question.
The first thing that comes to mind is to be more confident; I would like to be able to start conversations with perfect strangers. To which it was pointed out that that doesn’t negate any current personality traits. But it is the feature I would most like to have. Yesterday I saw a pretty girl waiting for the elevator in my building. I said hello, but then continued on to the stairs. I would like to be the kind of person who could instantly realize that, in this case, I should be waiting for the elevator with her. And start a conversation that had meaning behind it.
I’ll see if I can come with any other traits as the week continues. Right now, all I can really come up with is confidence. And varying aspects of that.

There are only so many hours in a day, so there are only so many friends you can have at one point in time. If you go over your quota, you aren’t really paying attention to each of your friends. Your quality of friendship goes down.
If you get down to one friend, you are on the road to being a stalker.
I suppose some people can handle more friends and maintain a consistent level of friendship.
That’s why you have acquaintances and you have friends. Acquaintances are people you keep track of. Friends are ones that you do stuff with.
If you are only communicating with someone by reading their blog, you are not a friend. You aren’t dong anything together and getting to know them. This was pointed out to me by a (real) friend and I have to agree.
If I want to keep friends, I have to be proactive and actually converse with them. Be active instead of passive.

Since he got back, Steve has decided to like Kam. Why? Because without Kam, Steve would never have discovered smack, and without smack, he would have been trapped inside his old personality forever. (“Ethan, do you think I enjoyed being Ned Flanders every diddly-day of the week? [Expletive deleted] diddily-uck no. Every fibre of my being wanted to napalm the dry-erase boards, but instead I’d stand there smiling at pie charts, discussing how much of the budget we should allot for dried cranberries for the goodie bags at the Orlando staff retreat.”)
…
I didn’t learn anything about human rights, but later I did learn about how much my personality changed on smack. When I got back to Vancouver, I realized I was no longer a prisoner of that part of my brain that made me such a generic corporate suckhole. I found that I no longer cared about much of anything–that I could say whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. It was great.
-Douglas Coupland, JPod

I had some friends over yesterday. I had a schedule plan on my fridge; They made good natured fun about me. I am predictable and “That’s just like “. Other personality traits were pointed out and mocked. I will freely admit that I am an organized person, and fastidious about it.
I know it isn’t meant to be hurtful, but after awhile it gets to you. Am I the person I would like to be?
I have often said I would like to have a marijuana plant. Not to use for nefarious purposes. It’s a hardy plant that I could probably keep alive, and it would be a harmless act of rebellion. I have no interest in smoking it.
But it is probably better if I didn’t have the temptation sitting in my windowsill.

Not that I have any idea what marijuana looks like. Someone could give me a Cleome plant and tell me it was pot, and I would happily believe them.

Last week I got myself a Roomba. Is it actually helping me clean up? It takes awhile for it to do its rounds of the room, and it is fascinating to watch. So I don’t know if I’m saving any time.
And it seems to really like bumping against my Wii. I don’t know if that should feel creepy.