Right, I’m back and I need to start being productive.
I arrived back home at about midnight on Saturday night. The airport shuttle wasn’t actively hostile against me, and when I was on Whyte Avenue I was able to follow two police officers most of the way with my luggage. Felt safer.
Sunday, I was thinking about going for the morning run, but I slept in instead. If I had been aware of the time change, I might have been able to go. I still went to brunch with my running friends. But in the afternoon I slept.
One reason I like flying Air Canada more than WestJet is that Air Canada has better seat televisions; you get to choose the movies you want to see and are in full control of them. WestJet just shows regular television, or pay-per-view movies. I had a better idea this time. I took some old DVDs that I hadn’t gotten around to seeing and uploaded them to my iPhone. I could watch them at my leisure on the flight. Bonus: I didn’t feel like I was missing anything if I wasn’t watching a movie while flying.

That’s the Mississippi river below us. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it before. It doesn’t look that impressive, but from 41,000 feet up, there isn’t much to compare it to, so the perspective is off.
I am once again in what I consider “the worst seat in the plane”. I asked for the emergency exit row, but they gave me the one in front of it. Is there something in the Caribbean WestJet training that prevents that understanding? However, I’m not going to complain (much). There are 22 people on this plane that can hold 138. I have an entire row to myself and have taken advantage of it to nap. I could sit almost anywhere in the plane if I really wanted. The stewardesses are completely bored.
The reason for that is that WestJet just started flying directly to Montego Bay from western Canadian cities. This is the first flight back from Calgary, so it should be fuller in the future.
Yesterday, I tried sleeping a lot. It was never a restful sleep though. The weather wasn’t spectacular, so I didn’t sun myself. I still stayed up late, but I can’t really describe anything exceptional I did. Most of the time was reconnecting with old and making new friends.
I did meet someone who claims to be a rock star in a famous punk rock band. I spent about half an hour talking to him about what it was like and the affect of the internet and iTunes on his record label. I don’t know punk rock, so I can’t claim to have heard of his band which has been around for two decades; I’ll look it up when I get home.
I’m glad to be going home. I’m tired of this vacation. I want to sleep in a bed with a thick comforter in a room-temperature room without an air conditioner overhead. I want to work on the computer and create great software. I want to play a game of D&D. I want to go on a long distance run. I want to be awake and have energy.
I want to go back to my regular life.

They started an edge trimmer outside my room at 9:30 this morning.
I’m going to try and get some breakfast.

I just came into my room. Surprisingly, neither my bed, nor my roommates has been slept in.
This has been a good day. Night? The sun is rising. It is rather windy. Has it always been windy in the morning, but I’ve been too asleep to notice?
I wish I could say that my bed is clean because I spent the night in someone else’s, but no, I’m just up really late. I’ve had a good night talking with my friends; surprising level of honesty. Even did the waterslide, which is really cool when it is dark and you can’t completely see where you are going. I am right now wide awake without the barest hint of sleepiness. I’ve usually woken up feeling more tired. It may be an illusion, but we’ll see. I’m going to force the issue by going to bed after updating my journal.
Or, if I wait long enough I could go get breakfast at 7:30…
My roommate has been very good. Because he is a rock star, he travels often with weird roommates. He has a solution for everything and is very accommodating. I feel that if he walked in on me stuffing a chopped-up dead hooker into the toilet, he would be there to help me flush often so that the pipes didn’t clog.
My left arm has a nasty bruise forming.

After a pleasant afternoon that I spent sunning myself (without sunscreen, but it was cloudy and I wasn’t there long) the “gang” went to Rick’s Cafe. (For some reason, I keep calling it Ric’s Grill.)
Rick’s Cafe is a tourist spot that I suppose is famous, but I didn’t really know why. I wasn’t actually looking forward to it, because I assumed it was a bar that would be noisy and crowded; not the kind of place I really want to go to.
But it is famous for a reason: cliff diving. It is built high up and has several places where you can jump into the deep water. The locals show off, of course, by climbing high up on trees that look like they are on their last legs. From there they do several twists before plunging headfirst into the water. The tourists are more likely to use one of the reasonable heights that don’t involve going up the foliage.
Having no interest in drinking or eating there wasn’t much else to do. So I did the plunging from the highest tourist spot, because if you are going to do this, you have to do it right. I looked over the edge, and it suddenly appeared a lot higher than it used to. Still, friends are watching and I’m not going to disappoint them. So, shut off the brain and run forward! Okay, I’m in the air now. Shouldn’t I have hit the water already? Oh, there it is, coming up fast. That doesn’t look good. What position should I be in? I don’t know, my brain turned off several metres ago.
First time I landed on my rear end. It is probably going to bruise badly. There isn’t much to say about my second leap, but I should stress these are leaps/jumps and not dives. By the time the third leap rolled around I had learned to have your body as straight as possible. Unfortunately I have the instinct (from swimming lessons when I was little) to have your arms out so you don’t go deep into the water. My arms will really bruise I’m sure. Some friends were remarking on the loudness of the slap they made.
Then the sun was setting and, although there were lights on the water, they shut it down. For the best I’m sure. I wouldn’t want to leap in the dark. And I wouldn’t want to be in the water when a person diving in can’t see that I’m there. So I mingled with my friends. Thankfully we decided to leave early, because without the diving it is just like the resort, except you have to pay for stuff.
Unfortunately political instability hit Negril while we were out. People were protesting the wrongful death of an innocent businessman shot by the police. And to protest here, they block the road and light it on fire. A couple had tried to leave early by taxi and got stuck in the middle of it when the protesters were attacking a fire truck. They were able to get back to the cafe where they joined us on the bus. When we arrived, the police and army were cleaning up, and we got back safely, although it took quite some time and we contemplated taking a detour through the inland jungle.
Didn’t I have a pair of sunglasses when I left?

I slept well. I got to bed early and got up an a not-unreasonable time. I found that breakfast is much better if you go early: fried plantains, waffles, plums. Usually I’ve just been going to the omelette station, but I’m sick of those now. Toast! Could be better jams.
With my new powers of alertness I went scuba diving: 55 feet maximum depth for 35 minutes at a place called “The Arches”. It was nice and I was able to take some pictures with my cheap underwater camera. No idea how they will turn out though. The cool part was going under the arches, some of them fairly wide. Almost spelunking in a way. I was actually surprised there wasn’t more air stuck to the ceilings. How does it get out considering how many divers have gone through? Is the rock porous? Do fish steal it? Does the ocean absorb it?

I am not eating right. For a free, all-you-can-eat buffet almost constantly available, I seem to be unable to eat anything. I get up late, so I eat breakfast at about 10:30 to eleven o’clock. Lunch is server an hour later, but I’m not hungry, so I don’t eat anything by the time it ends. I get peckish around six o’clock when the beach restaurant is shutting down. Then dinner at seven o’clock is when I’m most likely to eat my next meal. If things are interesting, I’ll miss the midnight buffet when it ends at two in the morning.
Did I mention I’m a touch hungry right now.
After dinner there were parties. I hung out with interesting people and beautiful women. I learned a new, fun, technique for taking pictures in nightclubs. I watched people snort cocaine for the first time. I did karaoke. I had nice conversations with old friends and new.
For instance, I might be getting this wrong because his accent is sometimes hard to follow, but my roommate thinks he is in love. It’s that beautiful girl I met the day before halloween that seemed to like me to. I had been sensing it for awhile, especially when he didn’t sleep in his bed last night. And then there was the mood lighting in our room late this evening.
I’m supposed to be happy for him, aren’t I?

I seemed to be reasonably functional today. What did I do? I ate breakfast right before it closed. I then sunned myself for half an hour. I would have gone longer but I was sweating so much I wasn’t sure my sunscreen was staying on. Plus the magazine I was reading wasn’t as thrilling as advertised. (Does The Economist advertise itself as thrilling?) I then went to the official pool party and hung out there for awhile.
At around three I helped a model do a fashion shoot. Originally I was just acting as shade for a professional photographer, but he had to leave to do another shoot. I then used my camera for the next two hours and got some great shots. She liked what I got, and she got the pictures immediately. With the professional she didn’t know when she would be able to get them.
By the time that was all done it was evening and I still haven’t had a lunch. The only real calories I’ve had this afternoon are three dirty bananas; they look like milkshakes.
Being introspective, I think the reason I’m feeling good today is that I gave myself permission to have fun. After all the talk of yesterday, I’m trying to be more outgoing and not try to be cool. Have fun. Don’t overthink. It seems to be working.

Of course I tried to sleep in as much as possible, but breakfast ends at ten o’clock, and I was hungry. But after that, I was stumbling through the day.
I think the highlight of the day was at the pool party; there was a transparent inflatable ball that you could climb into. Then you can roll around in the pool for awhile, although rolling doesn’t actually move you at all. No friction. It is really hard to stand up. Interestingly, I had to be told to get out. I wasn’t feeling bad or anything, but I was getting red. Since you only have the limited supply of air that you brought with you into the ball, oxygen deprivation is a risk.
I was also asked by a gentleman and his wife if I was bi-sexual. I think this is the first time I’ve ever been propositioned. It’s a nice feeling to be on the other end. (Oh, and the answer is “No.”)
Tonight was the resort’s 29th anniversary, so they made a big spread. They were really promoting the lobster bisque, but now that I know I’m allergic to it, I had to make do with the turkey and stuffing. And some Jerk Chicken.
At dinner, I was practically falling into my meal. I didn’t think I could make the party at nine o’clock, so I collapsed into a gazebo/bed near the main dining area. I didn’t feel much better after an hour nap, but it was enough to supplement half of a 5-hour energy shot (i.e. a 2.5 hour energy shot) to last me eight hours. With new found energy I went to the next party.
That ended at about three in the morning, and I spent the rest of the time lounging in a hot tub with friends. I spent a lot of time talking with my therapy friend who continued to give good pointers. I know now how better to act at parties, but it will be hard to be extrovertive enough. I need to put a lot of work into my social skills.
I better get to bed if I want to get up early enough to eat breakfast.

I had a good evening. It wasn’t that well organized, and there was general milling about for a lot of it. A friend won the costume contest and the skit contest, and now they have another week in this resort available to them. The disco wasn’t that exciting, so we just hung out. And I spent a lot of the evening with a lovely lady from Seattle; unfortunately married, but she was nice to talk to.
I had a good time.
Now I’m tired. If I stayed up a bit longer I would probably see the sun rise. There is a jungle river rafting excursion that is in three and a half hours. I enjoyed it last year, but I think I’ll have to give it a miss this one.

Slept in. Hung out with friends. Soaked in a hot tub. Watched a torrential downpour. (Finally got to see all the sluices in this place working.) Now it is halloween night. I’m slapping together a costume. There is a theme with my friends of medical/insane asylum. I’ll see if I can pass myself off as a crazy person.

So, I’ve been trying to drink to be more social. Yesterday I found a good tasting drink that I started sucking back. It was nice and fruity and called a Tropica, or something like that. Today I found out that that was a non-alcoholic drink. So much for that plan. This will teach me to ask for a girly drink.
I was talking to a lady who I knew from last year, and she had some good insights about me. Usually when I’ve talked to psychologists, I’ve come out of it feeling worse about myself. This nice person gave me a good talk where I know how to improve myself and gave me a better hope for the future. I probably shouldn’t discuss the details here, so I won’t.
Other than that, my friends have been arriving all day. My roommate showed up. I went snorkelling again, (although I missed the boat because my room key suddenly stopped working, and had to get shipped out especially.) I hung out at the pool. I met a beautiful woman who seems to like me too.
I guess that’s the hope for the future.

I had a few items of clothing to look piratical, but what really completed it was a clip-on earring that a woman loaned me; she had two, but she looked more like a gypsy with both on, so we shared the pair. I’m told clip-ons are supposed to hurt after awhile, but I had it on all night with no problem. And it was big.
And with that, pirate night ends. There was a pirate festival week here that ended tonight. They wanted to do a big sendoff, so everyone was encouraged to be a pirate. There were some fantastic costumes. Some people really know how to do the pirate. And I don’t think I saw any Johnny Depp impersonators. Although one guy was the spitting image of Captain Morgan.
I also found out who my roommate is going to be. I know him from before, and I hate him. That’s probably too strong a word, because he’s a very nice person. I just hate him because he has that cute, european look that woman go crazy for. And he knows how to work it. So not hate, jealousy.
Maybe I can get pointers from him.

Today I did snorkelling. Well, I slept in and took a nap before lunch as well. But I think I’m acclimating now, so at two o’clock I went out on a snorkelling trip. It was nice and I had a good time. The sea wasn’t too bountiful though. I did see some fish, and I think they were taking advantage of the fact that I’m not supposed to touch them. A group of yellow and blue one confronted me and kept coming at me; they looked harmless enough. Different from the fish that looked like miniature swordfish; I left those alone. Those and the jellyfish the size of my thumb.
Other than that, I hung out with friends, eating and drinking.
It’s pirate night tonight. I’ll see what I can come up with.

For someone really tired, I don’t seem to be going to bed. Well, I am now. But I wasn’t expecting to be up this late. Talking to friends will do that.

Okay, I’ve been lethargic since I’ve arrived. Not unexpected; left Edmonton at one in the morning, four hour flight to Toronto, four hour layover there, four hour flight to Jamaica, an hour (est.) to get through customs, and an hour and a half bus ride.
I found a mattress in a wooden hut near the dining area, and rested there for awhile. That helped. What really worked was getting some high-sugar food into me. Now I’m feeling alert. There is a twinge of sleep still in me, so I don’t expect to be up all night, but I feel functional now.
I’ve also spotted some friends, not close ones, but familiar faces are good.

I’ve arrived. The resort seems nice. Much bigger than the last one, so I’ve had to spend some time exploring. They provided a map, but this is more interesting.
Haven’t seen anyone I know beyond one glimpse in the distance. Hopefully they’ll show up at dinner.

I’m in Jamaica now at the bus’s rest stop. The flights were okay, except for sitting next to a rather large woman for one leg. I met two friends in Toronto, but they are staying at a different place tonight. So the bus ride to the resort is bereft of people I know. Hopefully I’ll find familiar faces at the actual place.
Since this is a new resort for me, in a different part of Jamaica, the bus ride at least has new scenery. But right now I’m hungry. And the driver tried to sell me some weed.
But now we’re moving again. More later.

Ugh. What a day.
I hope you realize the sacrifice I’m making for you guys. Every time I take a vacation, Edmonton has beautiful weather while I’m gone. Tonight I leave for Jamaica, so I hope you enjoy the sun.
For me, it hasn’t been going that well. My car died on me. Luckily it was in the Canadian Tire parking lot. I go there only once or twice a year, so that is pressing the odds. From the sounds, it was my battery, but it could have been the alternator. I was hoping the service centre would be more helpful, but they wanted $75 to check out my car. Instead, I talked to the battery department and borrowed some tools from them. Not very good tools, but after a great deal of struggle I was able to remove the battery from my car. I brought it to the battery department and they confirmed it was dead/dying. I got a new one and got it back into my car. It started without problem after that.
But now I’m running late on trying to get ready.
The Edmonton SkyShuttle service is sounding more and more hostile to me. If I didn’t know better I would think they were trying to prevent people from using the service. From a hotel on Whyte Avenue, they say it will take an hour and a half to get to the airport. At eleven at night? Also, be there fifteen minutes early. Previous times I’ve taken this shuttle, it has taken forty minutes, tops.
I’m going with the assumption they are trying to cover themselves legally. Because there is no way I want to sit around and wait for no good reason.
Further updates as they warrant.

I finally took my car in to get repaired. When I had the accident, I promptly contacted my insurer and went to the recommended place near my work to get it estimated. I held off on actually getting it repaired because I figured I would wait until summer. Then I got laid off.
Since then, I’m not using my car that much. My insurance provides for me to have a rental car while I wait for repairs. But it sounds like a lot of trouble to drive across town to the service shop, then deal with rental agencies.
So, instead I asked to go to a non-recommended repair shop. I had to drive a bit to get a new estimation, but once that was done, I took it to Doug’s Place, which is a five minute walk from where I live. I figured that I could skip the rental and just live without a car for the few days they said it would take to do the servicing.
I dropped it off yesterday morning. Unfortunately, my career counselling service had a seminar downtown today that I wanted to attend. Without a car, I had to walk there. It was pleasant enough, and downtown is an interesting place to stroll about afterwards. But while I was there, I got a phone call from Doug’s Place.
My car was ready 26 hours after I had dropped it off. And when I picked it up, I got a gift certificate for $25 at a steak place. They even vacuumed the inside. I need to get into accidents more often! (Do bigger accidents mean bigger gift certificates?)
In other words, I’m very satisfied with the service at Doug’s Place.

If you ever meet anyone who is planning on creating a time machine, and has a reasonable chance of success, you should kill them straight away. This is not to prevent the grandfather paradox. As far as I’m concerned, there is no reason not to go back in time and go gunning for grandpa. I’m more concerned about the act of time travel itself.
I am of course only concerning myself with backwards time travel. Forward time travel is fairly harmless and we have the technology right now to do it. (You just need to slow down personal time, and that is automatically done in the presence of any sufficiently dense object. [Insert fat momma jokes here.])
There are two theories of how you can get past time travel paradoxes. The first is the Novikov self-consistency principle. I like this one for fictional purposes, because it maintains consistency while still allowing fun things to happen. As long as you can make it look like nothing has changed, you can change as much as you want. i.e. Rescue every drowning person on the Titanic, as long as you replace them with identical drowned corpses, and then take them back with you to wherever you left from. But it also implies the idea of some greater force controlling things and making sure causality is maintained. As an atheist, I have trouble believing that. Physics doesn’t have a plan.
I’m more concerned about the parallel universe idea. Basically, when you go back in time, you create a parallel universe that you are free to mess up, but you are stuck there. So if you kill your grandfather he is dead and in the future of that universe you will not be born. But that isn’t the problem of your previous universe.
But let’s think about that: You are creating ANOTHER universe! Well, mass and energy are the same thing. Where is the energy coming from to create this universe? To create a parallel universe would require all the energy of this universe. And with entropy, you would actually need more than the energy of this universe. So if you built a time machine and went back, you would need to destroy this universe.
I’m opposed to that. This universe is where I keep all my stuff.

Five minutes after I finished the last entry, a driver massaged the rules a bit and I was able to get a ride to Whyte Avenue. It did mean I had to walk two blocks on Whyte, dragging suitcases, on a Friday evening.
But I’m home now.
My throat has been scratchy since I first boarded a plane today/yesterday. That doesn’t bode well, but at least it is happening at the end of the vacation, not the start.