The sunshine guarantee is a lie!
According to the woman at the guest services there was an hour and a half of sun yesterday starting at 1:17. I was not blind at that time, and I did not see the clouds disappear. It wasn’t raining and the clouds may have been thinner. But the sun was not present.
I will give them credit for not saying it was only five minutes. That would have been an obvious convenient falsehood. Instead they took the time to change the conditions of the promise to match what was in there best interests.
And today, more rain. I’m beginning to regret not leaving yesterday. There wasn’t much at the resort that was worth staying for. It actually isn’t that nice of a place. It is the people I see regularly that make it worth coming to.

It was cloudy and overcast all day. At least I thought it was. I’ve been hearing rumors that the resort thinks it was sunny between 1:00 and 1:05. That would be enough to wreck the comp day. I would prefer the resort just tell the truth, that they don’t have a sunshine guarantee, instead of lie about it being sunny (for a given value of sunny) for a brief time.
So not much happened today. No sunning. I did get around to my book and reading it around the resort. But that is hardly what caribbean memories are made of.

I went to bed early last night. The last three nights had caught up to me. I would have liked to stay up, because things were still happening. And the last few of the people I know are leaving today. There are a very small number who leave tomorrow, but I don’t know them as well.
But, because I got good sleep, I could get up early and go scuba diving. It was cloudy, but that doesn’t matter beneath the surface. We did the airplane wreck. So I was down 80 feet for about 25 minutes. At least that is what they told us. And yes, there was the wreck of an airplane. Possibly two, it was hard to tell. I didn’t see them close up because I still have trouble equalizing so it takes me a long time to get down. I did eventually, but that was after the wrecks. I did get to see a turtle.
It is easy to get lost underwater. There are fewer objects to orient yourself to. If you try turning around 360 degrees, it takes longer than you expect.
When we came up it was raining. And it got harder. I would say monsoon, but I’m sure the locals will say it can get worse. Water was everywhere. I had breakfast and everyone around was wet. We huddled under the shelter.
If there is no sunshine at all today, I can get a comp day. So my plan of sunning today is pretty much tanked. But now I’m hoping the sun does not show at all. It would make packing early easier to justify.

I didn’t think I could, but apparently you can sign up for excursions at the last possible minute. So, an hour before it started, I signed up to go horseback riding. They would send a bus to pick me up. While wandering through the resort, I mentioned to three other people my plan. They signed up and came with me fifteen minutes before the bus.
It’s much nicer to go with other people.
The key to this horse riding experience was at the halfway point everyone got off their horses. The saddles were changed, we remounted, and went into the water. The horses splashed around and, at times, swam. Loads of fun. Even when the occasional horse patty came floating by, I rode Moonshine.
And they had the most reasonable price for photos that I’ve ever seen. Still not cheap, but they did burn them to a DVD instead of printing them out. Makes it a lot easier because I don’t want to scan them back in. Digital is easier. Our pictures were easy to find in the batch; We were the only white people.

I am so wasted.
And I actually mean that now. I had five drinks (some of them girly) in the span of about an hour. I am very lightheaded. The only reason I’m back in my room is to make sure my roommate, who is leaving at this hour, isn’t stealing my laptop. A stupid paranoia, but better not to worry than to have it gnawing at you.
So, let’s see what this drunkenness can do.
If only there were more single women here who weren’t scary.The people I’ve been hanging around are mostly in couples. And the lone single women that I know of doesn’t seem that interested in me. But a new crop of people arrived today. Hope springs eternal.
Back to the party.

Do I slur when I type? Be honest.

I tried to go scuba diving today. But the rough water of yesterday had churned up too much silt so that there would be too little visibility. So I had another low key day.
The weather here has finally become good. The sky has been sunny, so I went to the nude pool and sunned myself. Well, actually I read a good book because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sun for long.
Tonight I plan to get drunk. I girl has offered to help me along by selecting good girl drinks to try. Hopefully I can get them down quickly. Speed seems to be the key.

I feel hurt. I just found out that there was an alumni party last night, with a chance to win a return trip next year. I never got an invitation.
And after all I’ve done for these people.

I am so wasted.
That’s what I would like to say, but it would be a lie. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t drink alcohol. Definitely not in the quantities I would need to.
I drank some absinthe. It tastes horrible, but then it isn’t for everyone. (The bottle will make a nice souvenir.) At the hot tub I was given a few drinks to try. Kahlua and cream tastes vile. Vodka and cranberry was a bit better. But that was diluted so I would need to drink a lot to get that drunk feeling again. I miss it. I liked being one of the cool kids.
In this motif of dryness I did two things this evening. I hung out with the body-painter as he painted pretty women. (A word of advice: Be careful of the smart-alec comments you make when the painter is applying glitter to the model. It tends to linger all over the body. They do bring out my eyes though.) I also did some karaoke. I dislike how they are doing it this year. They have a more professional person in charge of it, but he loves to hear himself sing. So he is singing every third song, sometimes ones no one else knows. In other words, he is hogging the fun. I only got to sing one song. I’m a little bitter.
And it was much more fun when it was a SHE in charge. They look nicer.

On Tuesday I got drunk for the second time in my life. I was more confident and people liked me. I am not making this up, but it sounds like a beer commercial. Or technically a Merlot commercial. However I would be a bad spokesperson.
And today someone here, who has known me for several years, says I should be drinking more. I am apparently more popular when I have had alcohol in my system.
Peer pressure. And I think it is working.
I still don’t like to drink, but I’m beginning to think I should.

Yesterday was a day of relaxation. And yet I still didn’t get to bed at a decent hour. Thankfully it hasn’t hurt me too much. The number one reason to get up is to go do the watersports in the morning. Scuba diving and water-skiing lessons only happen at 9:00. But today the water was too rough so I didn’t miss anything.
Guilt free laziness.

Is it an insult that when passing the chef next day and he asks if you enjoyed the meal, you answer that the food wasn’t big enough portions?

This morning I successfully water-skied. There were a few false starts, but the lessons I learned last year still seemed to be in my brain. Everything clicked together properly and I stood up and was out of the water. The boat turned a total of four times before I lost control and sank. I think it was more that my arms were getting tired than me forgetting what to do.
But I did it. Better than the three seconds previously.
I’ll try and do it again, but the one critical lesson I learned last year was that after water-skiing for the first time, your arms hurt for a week. A whole week. I was lucky I did it at the end of my vacation last year. This might be a problem this year.
Other than that I spent the day helping people who were organizing events. There is a fashion show tomorrow that had a dress rehearsal and fitting today. I would have liked to be in it, but I think I was gone at a critical point trying to find a tray for the show and someone else volunteered in my absence. However, he probably wants it more. He says if he is in it, then he can’t be asked to film it. He is the media guy around here and I think he is tired.
I think I lost my paper journal. I remember using it to transcribe some information, but now it has disappeared. My best guess is that it was hidden on my bed when the maid came and cleaned up. So it went with the sheets and may have been laundered. I don’t believe it was intentionally stolen because I can’t see it being worth anything.

I went to the beach party dressed in part of a gladiator’s outfit. I had a kilt-like thing for it. The only thing is that my chest looked somewhat empty. A complete outfit would have something there.
On the way to the party though, I ran across the body painter and he agreed to paint a harness on me. That will look cool. It shouldn’t take long. Half an hour?
Three hours later he was done. There was a harness. I also had chest muscles and various tribal tattoos. And he had experimented with a new painting technique. Pictures were taken and much was learned about photography.
Of course, the party was long over. In fact it had only really lasted for twenty minutes before rain sent people to the main dining area. The place where my body painting was being done. So I sort of got to attend the party. There were some performers as well. A man with a bed of nails and some sedated snakes. The contortionist was also good.
Now it is quite early in the morning and I’m going to get some sleep. And see how much of this paint rubs off into the bed.

Today there was a fancy dinner in the Pastafari restaurant. Nice food, although it took a long time and the portions were small. Luckily, unlike last year, the air conditioning didn’t break down.
At the end of the event, there was a contest. Due to the support of my table, I made it to the finals. However, when asked to give as many synonyms for “sex” as possible in 30 seconds, I could only come up with seven. And I think I made up one of those. I was actually winning compared to the other synonymists, until the last person was asked for synonyms for “breasts”. He topped out at ten.
It’s a good thing I didn’t care if I won. The prizes were for excursions that I had been on already. And really, how many times does one need to kiss a dolphin?

I’m feeling better now and I’m getting onto Jamaica time. That would be staying up really late and not even sleeping in that much. There are many more people I recognize here now. One couple even tried to get me to come back next year, contrary to my current plans. But the seed of doubt has been planted.
I would like to go and do some partying, but that all seems to be winding down. It is raining quite a bit now, so it puts a damper on outdoor stuff.
I loaded my pictures from my camera to my laptop before going to bed, so far every evening since I got to Jamaica. It’s a bit of an insurance policy on the data, but I’ve realized that it puts all my eggs in the laptop basket.

Earlier today I think I got overheated. I’ve been feeling a little out of it since this afternoon, with a touch of a headache. I still have been going, but I haven’t partied as hard as I feel I should.
Mind you, I got up early today, so I might just be really tired.

This morning I was starting to recognize more people. I had breakfast with a lovely girl that I first met last year. She was beautiful and thin. While I had piled potatoes, pancakes and french toast on my plate, she had… fruit. I think she was jealous. She asked me how I, high with carbohydrates was slim, while everyone else here was more spherical in nature.
God bless running. I was even conveniently wearing a running shirt, advertising the K-100 relay.
Since my work offers me increased benefits if I do exercise three times a week, and I’ve been a bit lax this week, I actually took time out of last evening to run for twenty minutes on a treadmill. 2.34 miles. It’s amazing how that little bit of incentive is actually changing my lifestyle. A little.
A pretty girl is a much better incentive.

First, I got my pants fix. Not perfect, but close enough. Now on to other stuff.
This is my fourth time to this resort. It is, according to the propaganda, 40 miles from Montego Bay. This is the first time I have ever arrived and it was still light out, even though I have always taken the same flight. There are three reasons for this.

1. My flight had its schedule changed so that it was slightly earlier. Not significantly so though.
2. The road from the airport to the resort is now paved and two lanes. You can actually pass traffic that is going slow or stopping to turn. This helps a lot. That cuts about an hour off the travel time.
3. The new schedule for daylight savings time works in my favor. Because Canada is still on DST, the flight arrived an hour earlier than usual. Jamaica is no longer on it.

It was nice to come here and be able to look around properly. I also discovered that when you don’t know anyone here, it can be rather boring. (Let’s be honest, I’ve tried most every activity here, and they do wear thin. I come now for the friends.) There was one person I knew, and he was on the flight from Toronto. More arrived a few hours later and things are getting better.
The weather here is hot and muggy. When I walked into my room, the A/C was going so much it felt like I was still in Canada. I’ve fixed that. The locals are complaining too. One was sick of the heat all the time and was seriously thinking of going to Alberta.
Idiot.

One of the main reasons to bring a laptop died. The flight from Toronto to Montego Bay had those video terminals too. So I had good in-flight entertainment. Better than working on a computer.
“Evan Almighty” was a poor comedy. I barely laughed. However, I still enjoyed it; It was uplifting. It probably should have been billed as a drama.
“Surfs Up”: It was a family movie. It fit the mold well. Maybe is should have been released by Disney.
Oh look, Jamaica. Gotta go.