So this is drunkenness.
I believe I’ve sobered up by now. I’m alert, but I am noticing a bit of trouble writing. I didn’t feel more confident, but the proof is in the pudding. I was much more forward, but only with women I already knew.
I only had a brief moment of buzz. To do it, I had a shot and three drinks: A bacardi breezer, an orange juice and vodka, and a JJ special (a local bartender’s creation.) All within an hour, all tasted bad.
But the observations I’ve made are really convincing me not to do this again. I watched a large South-African co-tourist try to pick a fight with an American before being escorted out by security, and keep telling the non-English speaking cab driver how great he was. Outside my room, at the hotel, another co-tourist was sleeping in the hallway. A pretty Australian co-tourist with a boyfriend back home was drunk and flirting with all the boys. What annoys me the most is that her cousin seems to hate me, and I don’t know why. When I try to find out how she is doing, the cousin won’t even speak to me, except for “The Hand.” This pattern of behavior hasn’t just been for tonight.
It looked like pretty girl was going to get overly friendly with our lone American male in the hallway. I broke it up (killjoy) and tried to get her into her room.
She has a boyfriend. She is off-limits. It may be inconvenient but it is what is right.
I remain just as stupid when I am inebriated.

I like this town. Rome overwhelms you with culture to the point where you feel like you’re drowning. This town has an interesting, easy to follow, history that I feel I can grasp. If I spent a week here I would be content. Rome, I could spend two weeks there, living in fear, and still not feel like I’ve scratched the surface.
We had fifteen minutes of free time in a piazza that only had two minutes worth of culture. I wandered into a leather store, Toskana. They told me to ignore the prices on the tags. Take 50% off them. The inflated prices are for tour groups that are taken there and a commission goes to the tour office. Interesting.
Our tour group then went to another leather shop and were given a demonstration of leather manufacture. Then offered a 10% discount for our group…
Hmmmm….
They didn’t have a jacket I liked.
I went back to Toskana and tried on some jackets. There were two I liked but I couldn’t decide. I wanted a women’s opinion. I eventually got the three Canadian girls into the store and made a decision. They then bought two jackets themselves.
They blame me.
All the cultural museums are closed due to a strike. So I can’t seen the original David. (I did see a good replica in the square where he originally stood.) It’s Sunday so I couldn’t climb the cathedral dome. I did pay 6 euro to climb the bell tower. 412 steps, with 4 free ones. Magnificent view from the top.
I wish I had been wearing more than Birkenstock sandals.
Tonight we go to Club Space Electronika, a dance club. I have promised people to get drunk. Let’s see how it turns out.
This may be my last entry.

After the events of today, I can conclude that the pope is evil and will rot in hell. Mr. Infallible doesn’t allow shorts in the Vatican so when you visit the museum you have to wear long pants. When the day is in the high twenties to low thirties in temperature, those jeans become a sauna. I didn’t bring light pants because I figured I would wear shorts on hot days.
The organization of the museum is the second reason the pontiff is evil. We lined up at 8:00 in the morning and got in at around 10:15. (The line cutters really started working at ten o’clock.) I got in and I thought I was taking the logical route which led into the Egyptian exhibit and on. Bad move. I took too long in that side adventure (A lot of statues of ancient Rome. I mean A LOT!) so that the main route which leads to the Sistine Chapel was filling up. I didn’t have much time, I had to meet the others at noon. So I rushed through the important exhibits. (I liked the map gallery.) And I recognized a few other important paintings that I would have liked to ponder for more time. In the end, I was sprinting. I spent more time looking at a big brass sphere in a courtyard than I did at the Sistine.
Overall, it would have been nicer to spend more time there. It was my first real museum in Europe (not devoted to sex or booze.) The placed oozed with so much culture that I got overloaded. It began to lose meaning. Especially when you are actually running.
I missed St. Peter’s Basilica. That is something I will regret.
I actually ran through the streets of Rome to get to the meeting spot. Then a pizza lunch followed by a tour of ancient Rome. It is a lot smaller than I expected. All of the major ruins fall within a few large blocks. I suspect it is roughly the size of the West Edmonton Mall. I’m probably wrong.
Then we had free time. I used it to go to two spots recommended for a good view of the city. One was by peering through a keyhole. The other in a nearby park.
I then went to the Mouth of Truth followed by a walk along the river. The river isn’t much a part of Rome. They have walled it up so you don’t see it until you cross.
I saw a building and thought, “That is an amazing example of architecture, probably unique in all the world.” And I couldn’t be bothered to take a picture.
I did not have any gelato today.

Part of me doesn’t want to write much because it is a pain to transcribe this into the computer. But this is my major record of memories. After my camera.
The camera I totally expect not to have in the next few days. I am not trusting of the Italians, and our tour guide gave many warnings about pickpockets. I’m not even bringing my wallet into the city. And every night I will download all pictures from my camera to my iPod.
Thieving Gypsies.
If Montréal is littered with cathedrals, it doesn’t have anything on Rome. Ancient ruins are everywhere. You turn a corner and, chances are, there is a famous monument there. And they love to turn them into churches.
My favorite on our whirlwind tour of Roman ruins was the Pantheon. I loved the big globe ceiling. The Trevi fountain was also quite well done.
We also, briefly, snuck into the Vatican to take a picture of St. Peter’s Basilica. We will be back for more tomorrow when we will see the obvious sights.
I enjoyed the Crypt of the Capuchins. It is amazing what they can do with dead bodies these days.

I didn’t particularly care for this town. It just didn’t appeal to me. I’m coming down with a cold and liable to be cranky.
This is a town for women. Rich women preferably. Or men with girlfriends. Every store caters to the feminine demographic. High fashion or Venetian glass. Too many people (95% are tourists) and too many pigeons. I went and got a slice of pizza and a gelato. Then I toured St. Mark’s basilica. Then back for more gelato.
I did take part in a gondola ride, but I wasn’t really into it. You do get a different view from the water though.
The others are off partying now, possibly bowling. I’m going to try and sleep myself better. (I blame the very little sleep last night. I was up late updating this blog with a keyboard that had “Y” and “Z” swapped.)

After the rafting, I still felt cold. I could feel it in my bones, even though the day was quite warm.
We stopped in the town of Innsbruck where the river Inn presumably flows. It is famous for several things.
First fame was a gold plated roof over a balcony which was rather boring.
Second was the cut glass of Swarovski. My god, crystals everywhere. We had cards that would give us a free gift if we bought something. I looked and couldn’t find anything. I wanted to use it. Ideally I would have gone for the piles of crystals they used as decor for the cash registers. Not for sale. I could have gotten a cheap pencil with a colored crystal instead of an eraser. Then someone showed me the ideal thing. Something I actually wanted, not just tolerated.
Third is schnapps. I got a bottle. It continues my tradition of a sample of a region’s specialty alcohol on each vacation.
Fourth, Sachertorte cake and apple strudel. I went to a cafe and got them. The cake wasn’t that much better than garden variety cake. Maybe a bit richer.
There was also a tower that was a tourist attraction. 148 steps. I couldn’t find it and went four blocks in the wrong direction before returning to the meeting place under the gold roofed balcony. Which was also where the tower actually was. The tour guide has been looking for an excuse to abandon me so eight minutes was not a lot of time to tour it. I still did. Pay the entry, sprint up the steps, (I needed exercise after all the sugar from fame number four) take a few pictures and back down.
I didn’t even get to enjoy the view.

This morning was beautifully clear. It would have been a great day to go to Mount Titlis. But instead we hit the road. It was two people’s birthdays. They played two birthday songs. One was the standard song. The other was, surprisingly, the Arrogant Worms. It gave me a craving to hear them. So for the first time in two weeks I listened to my iPod. Not just a picture repository anymore.
We stopped in Liechtenstein. Apparently the place is famous for stamps. They do look nice. So I bought a postcard and a stamp and sent it off.
This afternoon we went white water rafting. Unfortunately you can’t take pictures because they have a staff photographer who will do it for you and then charge you money for the privilege. I am a sucker so I got them. Now I have to keep them safe until I can get someone to scan them.
The rafting was in the Inn river, a glacial river. So a bit cold. But our raft was “Team Canada”. With a few honorary members from South Africa and the states. It is common for someone to fall in. I never did except on purpose. Maybe I was showing off?
I did tire myself. When I woke up this morning my muscles were aching. And the pillow I had was too soft. No support. They did not appreciate being made to paddle hard. Especially when the women in the raft were barely paddling.
I’ll feel it tomorrow.

If I’m on a sled, going much too fast, and I’m yelling at you to get out of the way, I’m not doing it for my health. Well, actually I am, but yours too.
We’re staying in a small ski village in the Swiss alps, nearly dead centre of the country. This will be our second night here. We were up late last night partying because we got to sleep in this morning. EU regulations give our bus driver a complete day off. No driving. So we have to walk everywhere in this small village.
This morning we set out for Mount Titlis (no sniggering). It was not looking good for the expedition; the weather was very cloudy. And when you’re this high there is very little difference between cloudy and foggy. But the trip up was fantastic. It started with a small cable car that could hold six people. Part of the way, we thought we heard wind chimes, but we figured out that it was the cowbells. Surprising because the cows weren’t moving.
After some time we transferred to a bigger cable car that could take the whole tour group. Then to a smaller one, but this one rotated. (Less thrilling than it sounds.) The view might have been spectacular if it wasn’t cloudy.
I was with some Australians who did not dress for the weather. Thongs were the only footwear they had. I loaned one my fleece and reveled in my Canadian powers. I hope I get the fleece back some time.
At the top it was a lot clearer; We were above the clouds. Well on one side of the mountain, clouds were forming. It was chilly and I’m glad I had a jacket. But there wasn’t much to see, yet. At 12:30 the glacier run would open.
I spent time seeing some of the heated sights. Namely the tunnels inside the glacier. You could set the music and there were colored lights. There was also a tunnel carved through the mountain to the next county on the other side. But the view was nothing but clouds.
To get to the glacier run, a small group of us took a ski-lift. There, it was a hoot. They had a toboggan area and that’s about it. You pick a sled, slide down into the embankment that prevents you from getting a thousand feet of air, get up, dust yourself off, and take the conveyor belt back to the top. That belt made the trip because climbing back up at the high altitude would be exhausting. We did many runs as the sun was warming the place. Best of all was when we hooked the sleds together and went down as a group. When we had eight in our caterpillar we lost the guy in the back to a bump. The next time we had 12 in a row. Of course high altitude and reflective snow have given me a rather red face.
When we had tired out we headed down the mountain. It had cleared up a bit so you could get a nice view.
We didn’t go all the way to the bottom. When we were near, we got out and rented some trotti bikes. Basically skateboards with 2 large wheels and tall handlebars with brakes. We coasted down the rest of the way on those.
After that I relaxed a bit, then tried to take a walk. I had a poor map that sent me not where I wanted to go. But it was a nice jaunt.
Dinner was in the same place as yesterday and rather disappointing, considering the place looked so fancy.
Everyone seems very tired. The big excitement was a game of UNO in the laundry room.

We travelled out of Germany this morning. I didn’t get a picture of the speed limit signs for tanks. At the Swiss border we had to stop for some time. Nothing untoward happened but there were very cute Swiss border guards.
In Lucerne we were given a tour of a monument to Swiss soldiers who died in the French revolution. Then souvenir shopping.
I could have gotten a Swiss army knife for a good deal but I couldn’t justify it. I already got one 20 years ago and I barely use it. Free engraving is nice, but then it is just an expensive souvenir and/or gift. Or USB drive.
If I really wanted pricey, they we’re giving a discount on watches. But I’m a digital person and wouldn’t use it.
I still feel I should have gotten them. But I’m glad I didn’t. I’m still wondering why I got a beer stein.
Instead I got chocolate (although I got a Toblerone earlier that nearly put me to sleep), a t-shirt (I’m running low on clean ones) and a few other knick-knacks.
I wandered through Lucerne and saw the church bridge. Then there was a cruise across the lake. Nice views from there, but they would have been spectacular if it wasn’t cloudy.

Today was a good day.
We went into the Rhine where we got onto a ferry and started cruising. From there we got to see the valley of the Rhine, The cruise itself wasn’t that great but they had me at “valley”. I love topography and there was plenty of it. I took too many pictures. There are some castles in the pictures too. The most impressive was the Rhinefels, a huge one on top of a hill. It was converted into a hotel. Apparently there are 4km of tunnels underneath it.
We stopped at the small village of St. Goar where we got to hear how beer steins are made. I’m beginning to suspect that the tours we go on are designed to get us to spend money because afterwards they showed us the collectible Contiki stein. Limited quantities. Or the valuable Berlin Wall stein with a piece of the wall mounted on the lid. As a historical collectible, it’s great, but as a mantle piece of art, it’s rather ugly. They also introduced us to the largest handcrafted cuckoo clock (currently out of order) and tried to sell some clocks to us. They looked great and it would be nice to have, but I don’t read analog clocks and the noise would annoy me quickly. I would have purchased the display model in a heartbeat. Made of clear plastic so you can see what is going on inside. How cool is that? Not for sale.
We’re staying the night in this village. It’s got no night life with less than 400 people, but the best hotel! It’s 300 years old and has been slowly added on to in the past three centuries. There is no real organization, it is confusing, and it is easy to get lost.
Then I went touristing. I got a beer stein (although maybe I should have gotten a horn) and a pair sandals from the Birkenstock store. They are cheap when they are direct from manufacturer.
Many of the others were going to a wine tasting. It didn’t interest me so I decided to wander the village with no real agenda. That was the best idea. I went up to the Rhinefels castle. On the way down I met some co-tourists who said the castle was closed. But I needed a walk so I continued up the hill. I passed the castle. At the top there was nothing interesting but a field of sheep who baa-ed expectedly at me.
Going down I passed a suspicious staircase. I had time, so I took it and was led down to the battlements of the Rhinefels. It felt like a secret area except there were German sightseeing signs. I found two entrances to the tunnels with nothing to stop me from crawling in. Nothing except it was really dark and scary. There were paths that led to cliffs that looked like dry moats. Beautiful scenery too.
All in all, a cool tour that gave lots of excellent pictures. I even got back in time for dinner (barely).
After dinned (spatzle!) several of us went back to the castle in the dark for the view. I spent way too long trying to take a picture of another castle, lit up, across the river.

We’re passing through the Rhine valley. The tour guide gave a good recap of German history.
Earlier today everyone stood up, introduced themselves, and let us know about them. Best line: “I came on this tour to meet Australians.” I now know that we’ve had two Americans secretly walking amongst us. There are only six single guys in the group of 50.
My roommate is one of them, and also Canadian.

At dinner today we went to the Sea Palace restaurant. I’m not sure if it floats or if it is on piles, but it is over a major canal. I thought I was lucky when I sat down and found that the rest of the table consisted of six women. It didn’t work out though. They complained about the men on the tour: There wasn’t enough of them, and several are in couples already. They seemed jealous of the table with the other Contiki tour that was just ending; It seemed to me to consist of drunk college age men.
I felt it was a little rude and insulting with me right there.
There was the canal cruise afterwards. I tried to drink, but I still don’t enjoy it and I don’t feel like it loosens me up. So I started ignoring the party and enjoying the scenery. After it was over I didn’t go to the clubs where the women previously mentioned were going. Instead I went to the sex museum. Interesting displays there. Some of which are moving. For example there was a flasher that actually flashed you.
No free trials though.
I considered going to a club afterwards. I should party in Amsterdam. I was waffling about it while walking down the street. My stomach was acting up a bit which was giving me a strong incentive to go back home. In the end, it was decided by me seeing the tram to the hotel coming up the street. I turned around and ran back to the square where it picks people up.
I have other nights to party. Hopefully with better digestion.

This morning we went to the village of Edam, famous for its namesake cheese. There we took a bicycle ride around. Quaint place. Then we had a demonstration of cheese and clogs being made. I couldn’t justify getting clogs for myself. I won’t wear them and they take up a lot of room.
In the afternoon we had free time in Amsterdam. I went to the Heineken museum. Fun place. It even has rides. And they give you free drinks. I chugged the first to get it down without tasting it. The second was a lemonade. I ignored the third.
Unfortunately my stomach is starting to act up. I blame the British water.

The health and safety of this city was called into question with the old lady in the hall outside our hotel room who was smoking a cigarette.
The tour apologized for the hotel. It was a last minute change which was a downgrade. I was expecting the worst. But as I lie here on the top of an IKEA bunk bed, I don’t have too much to complain about. They have free internet access too. They’ll make it up to us with a canal cruise tomorrow.
The first dinner organized by Contiki was fine. It wasn’t great, but it was a buffet with some good food.
The guide took us on a tour of the red light district. It does a lot for the ego to have pretty women knocking on windows at you. I went back again later for more ego stroking.
We also took in a sex show. Very aptly named; People on stage fornicating. The guide described it as “mechanical” and I agree. There were a few other acts. One that was just stripping was creepy; The dancer didn’t look like she was enjoying herself. Some acts had audience participation. No! Not that kind. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Drive drive drive. We’re not stopping for sights, just trying to get to Amsterdam. The EU government has mandated we take a 45 minute rest stop. All I know is we just entered the Netherlands.
The stop has three stores. La Place, where I got a sandwich (laced with cilantro); a kiosk where souvenirs can be had; and a McDonald’s. A bus pulled up, filled with teenagers. Everyone went straight into the McDonald’s. Our tour guide recommended against that. “You can go to McDonald’s anywhere in the world. Try something local.”

On the ferry there was a Toblerone bar 50cm long at least. Probably more. 4.5kg of chocolate.
Not a midnight snack.
I was tempted by the regular giant size bars. 3 for £7. But I also don’t want to cart them all over Europe just so they can melt. Maybe on the way back.

They drive on the other side of the road here. Not the wrong, but not the right. If I was driving I don’t think it would be too hard to manage.
But as a pedestrian it is extremely dangerous. When coming to a street, I’m never sure what to do. Who has the right of way? Which way will traffic be coming from? They conveniently have marked the road at crosswalks as to which way to look.
Still, look BOTH ways before crossing the street.

I’m on the Contiki bus waiting for the ferry to France. (I had hoped for the Chunnel.) I’ve tried to introduce myself to a bunch of people but I’m getting overloaded on names.
The three Japanese girls at the front are happy. One just outright called me handsome, and my sunglasses reminded her of The Matrix. Forward, or a language barrier, but I take it as a good sign.
I count a total of six Canadians, mostly from Ontario. Besides me, all of them are girls.
As near as I can tell, everyone else is Australian (they aren’t sympathetic about how long it took to me to get to Europe) or a New Zealander (which are also called Kiwi) with a sprinkling of South African.
Nobody has admitted to being American.

I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept at all. To get over jet-lag you shouldn’t sleep until you’re supposed to. Well, I’m golden there.
I found where I’m staying and deposited my luggage. (It is the practical definition of a hole in the wall. But I’m not planning on settling in.) Then, despite a brain that is barely working, I’m off to do sightseeing. There is a roving fleet of buses that you can get a one-day pass for and they will take you to the tourist spots around London. I could have planned it better though, (Brain not working.) because I spent far too long around the Westminster area. I got there too early for a reservation for the London Eye and ended up wasting time looking at architecture. I will admit jealousy of the tourists who come as couples. They get to appear in their photographs posing with bobbies, scotsmen, and holding up the clock tower. Me? I got buildings.
The Eye was nice. There is a great view, which let me see all I’m going to of Buckingham palace. But I must confess I looked too much at how it was working. It’s like a slow moving amusement park ride. You even get to buy a souvenir picture of your capsule.
When that was over I wandered to the boat docks and took a cruise that came with the bus tour. (I should have done it earlier.) The tour guide was a little boring at the start (at least I think he was; I started nodding off.) There were interesting things to see, I don’t know if I got good pictures; My camera lens looks smudged.
I’ll clean it tonight and then finally get to sleep. I have to be up early tomorrow to get to Amsterdam.
The jet-lag is working in my favor.
But I am regretting I can’t take in some theatre. I’ve seen adverts for Spamalot and Wicked. I’d like to see both, but I’m in town so briefly I can’t see either.
I think I need to come back.

I’m on the underground barreling through the tunnels under London. I think it will take me 51 minutes to reach my destination so I thought I would update the journal. This may not have been the best idea. It’s kind of shaky.
The announcer does have a lovely British accent as she says we’re heading to Cockfosters. “Mind the gap.”
It took an hour and a half to wait in line at customs. I guess a lot of non-EU planes arrived at the same time.
I didn’t sleep much on the flight. Mostly pretending to. The inflight entertainment wasn’t as good as the domestic flight. No individual view screens. So you either watch Spider-man 3 and Just Friends, or you don’t.

I’m a bad person. Let me tell you why.
At noon I checked out of my hotel. I had no place to live, but five and a half hours to kill. The concierge made some recommendations. However the human body exhibit (as seen in Casino Royale) was sold out. So the backup plan.
I went to the waterfront and rented a bicycle. For two hours I tooled around. I took bridges to islands. I went around the Formula-1 course. I passed a large ship going down a narrow waterway. I took a pedestrian bridge across the St. Lawrence Seaway. I frequently got lost. And I saw a commercial being made.
In other words, I got hot and sweaty with no way to shower.
I collected my luggage and took a bus to the airport. I checked in, and noticed I still had time before my flight. So I went to the bathroom, took off my shirt and tried to wash myself in the sink. Hand soap is your friend.
Hey! I’m wearing a Coolmax shirt. That should dry easily… Into the sink it goes. Add a bit of hand soap, it probably won’t hurt. Then long moments getting to know the hand dryer.
I think I traumatized a small child.
The British/Canadian girl sitting next to me has been friendly so I’ll assume I got most of the stink off.
As I look back on the last week I don’t have too may regrets. I didn’t get a Tourtière. I didn’t visit the church on a hill (don’t even know its name.) I didn’t ride the funicular at the Olympic stadium (probably for the best if the local buildings are falling apart.)
I maybe should have wandered around more by foot. I noticed that it is a very pedestrian friendly city. This was obvious when at a major intersection all of the driving lanes had red lights so the pedestrians could have a free for all. (I should have gotten a picture.) And maybe I should sleep better.
Next time I come I hope I can do some running. The waterfront looks good for it, and it would be a special challenge to get to the top of Mont Royal. At the very least, rollerblades for the canal system.
Now I should get some sleep. I napped on the bus, but in London it’s midnight so I should try and work the system.
Or I could read my travel guides and figure out how to get to the places I need to go.
I wonder if there is a movie on this flight.

I typed a lot tonight to update the journal. This is not an ergonomic keyboard. My wrists hurt.
That and there are French characters hiding in the keys.

Yesterday I met some friends for lunch and then we went off to an island in the middle of the seaway (it has a name, I just don’t know it) where they were having a rave. It was also a good spot to take pictures of the Montréal skyline. Although as it got dark we got covered in bugs. It’s hard to pose in front of a skyline and look good with a bug on your nose.
Afterwards, there was a dinner. It was at a Japanese restaurant. I had eaten there on Saturday under the advice of a friend. He recommended the all-you-can-eat sushi meal. This was a mistake as you don’t get to choose the sushi, and it arrives too slowly, and then, when it does come, it comes in big chunks. That time I had to bail due to scheduling conflicts before I really felt full.
This time there was a much larger party that we hooked up with. They seemed to have made the same mistake. I ordered quintessential Canadian lemon chicken.
Then off to another party. This wasn’t as active as previous ones. People seemed to be getting tired. A lot of the time was spent just watching TV. (I can do that in Edmonton!)
Today, I once again had to sleep in late. I am looking forward to one day eating an actual breakfast instead of muffins from local bakeries. Tim Hortons muffins go down well. The local bakery has muffins that feel like a lead weight in your stomach for the rest of the day.
I met some friends and we went touristing. We drove to the top of Mont Royal and took pictures of the beautiful view. Then we went to the Olympic stadium. We arrived too late to use the funicular to the top. It closes at 5:00, which is weird. Are they trying to be like a bank?
The stadium was for the 1976 Olympics, but the tower wasn’t finished until the 1990’s. Another building we passed later this evening was cordoned off because glass kept falling off of it on to the sidewalk.
Montréal may have a lot more culture, but at least the building are standing in Edmonton.
For dinner I had French Onion soup. Another friend has steak. My soup was better than anything I had ever got in Edmonton, and was on par with my mother’s who had learned technique in France. The steak looked tough and pathetic compared to Alberta beef.
I feel I came out ahead.