So I did the run this morning. And I feel tolerable. The injury didn’t bother me, so I’ll assume that it is gone. I would like to say I feel great, but 29km doesn’t afford that luxury.
That and I think I attacked myself last night.

I have a theory about why I hurt so much from the treadmill run I did last week. The Wednesday before, when I went for a quick run outside, I did it in shorts. It was a bit above zero, so usually that is warm enough that the exercise will let me get away with being comfortable. But, my knees did feel a little stiff afterwards.
So maybe it wasn’t my company’s fitness program. Maybe it was my own fault. It would explain why I always seem to get injured in Spring every run.
After the feast today (or technically yesterday) I did the treadmill thing again. This time it felt good. Well, it felt hard, but it didn’t feel bad. I also did a warmup and stretching beforehand.
But, isn’t a treadmill incredibly boring?
Why, yes. It is. I’m only on for twenty minutes, and I do have an iPod pumping out my absolute favorite running tunes. Otherwise it is mind numbing.
When I was in junior high and high school, I had a different exercise program. Before dinner my father and I would go to a nearby track. There I would run a few laps, while my father would walk the dog in the opposite direction. The distance would start at about a mile at the start of summer and get longer and longer over the season, as long as I hit the speed mark I needed to add an extra half mile to the distance.
I have no idea how I did that. It sounds really boring.
The chief architect of continuing that program was the dog. She was very insistent that we go. She loved to roam around the schoolyard where the track was. She could investigate lots of smells and feel safe; At any time she could look up and check that we were still there.
I miss that dog.

Work is in a weird state.
We got acquired a few months ago, and I think that was a good thing.
It is harder to notice when you are in it, but there were a lot of problems. Morale was bad. Innovation was stifled as we would only do what a customer asked instead of being proactive. Decisions were discouraged, so that none were ever made. It was depressing.
But it became really depressing when I noticed.
This really happened on Tuesday when the new company had someone over to examine the corporate culture. We were first made to fill out a survey about the old company, rating aspects of it on a scale. Most of us noticed that it was rating pretty poorly. So the round table afterwards became a gripe session. This was escalated by the lack of managers present. I hear that the afternoon discussion was not nearly as illuminating. They say that no names will be recorded, but it is really hard to complain when the manager responsible is across the table.
Since we still have the same managers, decisions still aren’t happening. (A meeting happened where only the organizer showed up, and the managers “forgot” about it.) The new company claims to really like innovation, and I believe them. I feel empowered, so I am taking the lack of decision as a sign to create my own project. I’m looking at rewriting the UI to be more standard, and allow the OS to handle globalization and 508 compliance for us, and still be cross-platform.
I complain about this, but it still a nice company. We are getting a social activity tomorrow. Pizza and An Inconvenient Truth. It’s a nice perk.
Still, I have to start improving myself. I really do want to be more innovative. It’s been beaten out of me, so I’m working to get it back. The new company has career counselors, so I’m interested in that.
Or maybe I should look somewhere else entirely.
I’m not sure what I want. What do I want in life? As a cliche, I’m going to say “I have to find myself”. Maybe the European trip will help. But that is going to happen in Autumn. I need to start focusing on the now.

As much as I hate to admit it, this has been one of the better daylight savings times.
I hate that George Bush shifted the dates. It feels imperialistic, and something Microsoft would do to get its way.
Despite the running injury, I still woke up early on Sunday, but then I was able to go back to sleep. That set me into the new timezone in a rested state. Now when I wake up it is dark, and I seem to be sleeping better.
And coming home while it is light out is a nice feeling.
How long this lasts? I don’t know.

The final acting class was today. Well final before the big performance.
Next Tuesday, at 8:30 in the Maclab theatre at the Citadel, I will be on stage performing. Anyone is welcome to come and watch. It’s free! It shouldn’t last more than an hour.
Hopefully I don’t embarrass myself.

On Saturday there was an all day improv class. Overall, it went well. But there was a part that didn’t.
We were doing a longer-form improv set in a Jane Austen novel. I was the dashing stableboy who was in love with the woman of high society. It was a good play. However, the notes given afterwards said that I did a terrible job of showing love for the girl.
I plead guilty. I had the same note at the last class. I really can’t portray love, or interest in a girl.
I was hoping the real acting class I’m taking would help with this. But that class hasn’t taught me much about portraying emotions. Instead we try and get into the head of the characters and act like they would. Which doesn’t help when you have nothing to base the portrayal off of.
I need more practice with women. Fortunately this seems to be happening. A week before, I went with a friend to New City. She wanted to go to look at the goth people, and try out some semi-goth clothing she had. I’ve been there before so I was the guide. (Not that I totally feel welcome there.)
It was actually a very nice experience. She has a boyfriend, so there was no pressure to try and make a good impression and I could just be myself. (Yeah, I know that’s what I’m always supposed to do. And I will say that plan looks good on paper.)
We spent the time looking at people and commenting. There are always interesting costumes to look at. When she was pondering the structural support of a piece of clothing (more a lack thereof) for someone’s breasts, I was more than happy to ogle and offer my opinion. (They do dress kind of slutty down there.)
It was a nice way to boost confidence.

I skipped my long distance run today. I blame my company’s fitness program.
I have made no secret of my running habit. I regularly go out and do half-marathon distances as training.
My new company will give me extra benefits if I have an active lifestyle. Cool! Their measurement of an active lifestyle is exercising for twenty minutes, three times a week.
Sounds reasonable?
When I do my running, I do forty minutes on Wednesdays and around two plus hours on Sunday mornings.
That is only twice a week. So I don’t qualify.
To “cheat” the system I’ve been trying to run on Friday evenings. Twenty minutes on a treadmill, doing a light run. Usually this is late, after eleven o’clock at least. This is because there are the Friday Feasts. On a typical night Rem cooks a delicious light meal. But last Friday it was potluck night which gave us fried pork, a casserole and a chicken pot pie. Not quite so light.
Apparently this weighed a lot in my stomach so the run felt a lot harder than usual. That and I didn’t do a proper warm up before the run. (Remember, it is supposed to be light.)
So all yesterday my right leg felt gimpy.
I do not want to seriously injure myself, so I am listening to my body. Which is a weird feeling.
So the active lifestyle program made me do twenty minutes of exercise I didn’t want to do, which made me unable to do the 29km run I wanted to do.

Wahoo.
A simple cache for the X side of the equation sped up the creation of a spherical planet from about six seconds to about one second.
Boo-yah!

Excuse me while I get techy.
I’ve been working on my fractal program. There was a new algorithm that I had read about I wanted to try. The biggest thing stopping me was some of the advanced math. I drafted some mathematic graduate students to give me pointers. Unfortunately I gave them a poor description of the problem, and it ended up confusing me.
Fortunately I figured out a method. (Dumping the spherical coordinates equation for the plane was key.) So this evening I implemented it.
Well, it works…
I’m not that satisfied with the planets that get generated. A lot of them only have one Pangaea-like super-continent. The other landforms don’t really look interesting. And the darn thing takes a long time to produce a planet. I’m hoping to improve that; I have some ideas that should make it more efficient.
Still, I finally have this monkey off my back.

It was slow because there were long discussions about the state of the Oilers, and the results of the Academy awards.
My experience with speed dating was used for the scene involving it. The teacher was fascinated by the concept, and would love to go and just watch. Of course, why stop there? Why not organize a field trip.
How to make an awkward conversation more awkward. A peanut gallery.
“I can’t believe he tried that line.”
“She looks slutty in that dress.”
“Don’t I know him?”
Any other bad things to hear from a group of commentators on your date?

Okay, here is my theory.
The switch from VHS to DVD came fairly quickly. I suppose because DVDs are smaller, easier to store, don’t require rewinding and are simple to use and jump around. When they first came out people purchased them more often than renting. I’m guilty of this as much as the next person. My personal reason was that a DVD could be trusted to stay working and not wear out, whereas VHS couldn’t make the same claim. And having the movie was my personal pledge that I liked it.
I’ve heard that the amount of DVDs being purchased is going down. I’ll assume the reason for that is that people are getting the idea that they no longer need to own everything and that renting is still a possibility.
Blu-ray and HD-DVD are out, cursed with each other so that no one is buying them until they settle their differences. I suppose it is possible they their existence is the reason that DVD purchases are down.
My theory is that whichever format wins, Blu-Ray or HD-DVD, that will be the last hard video format used.
This is based off of what happened with audio. There were records, then tapes, then CDs. CDs seem to be the pinnacle that people use. There are other formats since, but only true audio-philes use them; People who like to hear the spider crawling up the wall in the background while the band plays. For mere mortals, the CD is king. It has all the features most people need, at the audio quality most people will enjoy.
I am aware the MP3 and its derivatives are starting to take over. I consider those a soft format. They don’t have the same quality, and most people still get them by burning a CD. In any case it is stored digitally, not on a purchased piece of hardware.
That is the way I see video format heading. Blu-Ray or HD-DVD will be the pinnacle. After that, other formats will come out that have better quality and/or sound, but they won’t catch on. Until we get to holographic movies. Until then.
That said, I can see downloadable movies taking over. Only when people get hard drives big enough and the internet is fast enough. The same way MP3s exist today.
I could be wrong. For all I know, Blu-Ray and HD-DVD will devour each other and DVD will be the last format. But I think we have room for one more.

I’m feeling a little down right now. I’m guessing part of it is the busy schedule that I have given myself. I say that, but I’m not in University, so it is probably nothing compared to a real student. I’m just tired, and the long weekend wasn’t enough.
Yesterday I decided to put my self esteem on the line again and try some speed dating. I have better hope for this time because the age categories worked more in my favor.
And I met some nice women. There was one that I really thought I hit it off with. She was easy to talk to and interesting. So my hopes were up. Then after the event, when it was just a social, I saw her holding court with a bunch of men. So I have to assume that she was just charismatic and everyone likes her. So, hope for the best, plan for the worst.
It is getting depressing though.
I just got back from an improv class, and it was nice today because a lot of people were missing. More intimate and more attention from the instructor. But once again there is a feeling of lack of progress on my part. The teacher can always point out something that I should have done that would have made the scene better. But then he has a lot more experience.
And when you are tired, everything piles up, and things that would normally wash off your back become the popcorn stuck in the teeth.
I’ll feel better tomorrow.

I assume there is a difference between plain stupid and Darwinian stupid. I decided to test that out.
I drove to the greater Calgary area yesterday evening. So I needed some food on the road. And I had a craving for A&W chicken.
Is eating chicken (and not nuggets) while driving just stupid, or would it be Darwinian?
Apparently just stupid as my genes are still around to tell the tale.
Of course, during speed dating I got zero matches, so the aforementioned genes may not be surviving. But, still not Darwinian, yet.

Well, that could have gone better.
I did the speed dating thing. I should have stayed longer after it was all over; Do the mingle thing. But I hadn’t eaten dinner, and they were starting to play annoying music. And I have to pack for my trip tomorrow.
It might not have been the best idea to go for a run after work. It made me late and withheld my meal.
There were some nice people, but a lot of the women were older than me and/or with children. Actually the girl that I had the most connection with was supposed to be in the younger group, making her eight years behind me. She was sloshed and was determined not to accept anyone. I guess a total lack of pressure makes making a good impression easier.
Next week there is another one where I think the age ranges work more in my favor.

Acting class today.
I have doubts about this class. I mean, I don’t know for sure if I am learning anything about acting. I’m learning about thinking like the character and blocking, but not pretending that I care. It’s the pretending part I would like to get down.
I have a scene I’m in that I’m nervous about. According to the script, in this two person short, there is MAN (that would be me) and WOMAN, who is supposed to be beautiful, tanned and in great shape. It culminates in a passionate kiss. Normally this would be good for me. However, the student playing WOMAN is, and I’m sorry to say this, kinda dumpy and pale. (Hopefully she never reads this.) I have no attraction to her.
I really need help on that pretending bit.
Other people are doing a scene involving speed dating. I haven’t done that in over a year. I know there is one going on tomorrow, and I am tempted to attend. Just to see if it is as bad as I remember. Definitely not take it seriously, and see how far brutal level four honesty will get me.
Or I could get ready for a trip to my parents in Calgary this weekend.

I educated myself today.
At work I was going through some online training. At one point it veered off from the welcome to the company stuff, and suggested/insisted I take a different online course.
This course seemed targeted towards sales people. I did it, and all the accompanying quizzes. I was totally exhausted by the end. In the regular course, common sense was a good guide. In the sales course, nothing made sense. Especially when trying to tell the difference between two sales pitches. The pressure and the confusion tired me out completely.
I have no idea how those sales people do it.

I went to see this movie today. It was disappointing. I mean, it had been hyped so much, and Rotten Tomatoes gave it an obscene rating. And there are the people who have seen it eight times. I was expecting it to be the greatest film ever.
I’m assuming readers of this have seen it already so I will be spoiling parts of it, but I will still be mostly vague.
At the end, I was ambivalent. I couldn’t tell if it was a sad or happy ending. I’m personally leaning towards sad and that it was all a dream. I don’t like it when a director leaves you wondering about things like that. I am happy when they leave you with moral dilemmas, but not on whether to be happy or sad.
Visually stunning, but that is somewhat lost when you have to read the bottom of the screen. “Stop talking so I can look at you.” I have nothing against subtitles, but I prefer them to be in movies that you don’t have to watch everything going on.
And the characters were stupid. Little girl, if you want to be a princess and show how good a ruler you can be, then learn to follow the simple rules given to you. And if you are going to try and run away from an evil place, finish killing the person who can warn the guards to stop you.
Why did people like this so much?
It was good, but it wasn’t great. It might have been better if it wasn’t so hyped. If you are one of those people who have seen it eight times, it is your fault the movie sucked. Your over-enthusiasm ruined it for me.
I put this on the same level as Lost in Translation.

I will admit that I am still a bit under the weather. But I felt good enough this morning that I went back to work. Unfortunately the air quality at my office sucks salmon. Half an hour after arriving my nose started clogging up. A quick dose of Neo-citran and it cleared up. Even stayed clear for the rest of the day. God bless weird medical substances that work creepily like magic.
I believe the party this Friday is good to go!
And it will be awesome! I’ve got supplies building up, including a large stash of hot chocolate (because it will probably be cold that day) with small marshmallows to complete the picture.
This party will be the defining moment in the history of mankind. Your ancestors will establish themselves as being descended from one of the original party attendees, and spit upon those soulless husks that can not claim such noble lineage. If Nero himself rose from the grave, he would lament that the burning of Rome did not compare to this extravaganza. Fun and entertaining and appetizing, in your sorrows you will look back at this time and your spirits will be lifted. Your moments of triumph will all feel a little less spectacular because you will have already seen absolute perfection. It will be the festive mirror in which all other events in your life will reflect in a duller shade.
So, uh, yeah. I’m looking forward to it.

The link to my “music”. It’s good. I recommend it.

I’m doing my best to update as often as possible this week. After neglecting the journal I feel I owe it to…, well I don’t know who I owe it to, but it is going to happen.
It didn’t help that ten minutes before I went to bed last night I got sick. I just started getting really cold. I huddled in bed, but I didn’t get a good night’s sleep. My brain was concentrating on a math problem that I could easily prove as being insolvable. But the stupid thing wouldn’t let it go.
I tried to go to work today, but after two and a half hours I packed it in and went home. Hopefully I’ll be better tomorrow.

I don’t watch organized sporting activities. I find the Olympics to be a long period where my favorite shows get preempted. So the Superbowl is a complete non-event for me. The only reason to watch it is to see the commercials. Or the hope of a “wardrobe malfunction”. And the former is pointless in Canada, because all the commercials are edited out to be replaced with local ones. Ones that haven’t spent millions of dollars to make a memorable advertisement, but rather the change they found in the sofa cushions.
Driving out this evening I noticed that the streets were rather dead. I guess I am not in the majority.
My destination? A local cinema is playing the world’s best commercials. So, with a few friends I went to see good commercials.
Mind you, a lot of them weren’t that good. Some were outright depressing. I prefer funny to poignant. I do not need to see reminders that it is good to look both ways before crossing the street in graphic detail. I would much rather see fake public service announcements about counterfeit cars.
Hopefully I will be able to see the Superbowl commercials on the internet. I mean, these people are spending an obscene amount of money for thirty seconds. They are going to have good ads.
Mind you, if you need funny, there are websites that specialize in that.

I feel stressed these days. I only have one day a week to do the things I need to do to maintain my life. And it is bearing down on me.
But the thing that is stressing me the most is my vacation.
I have been mandated by work to take a lot of vacation days. I’ve been collecting them for too long and not using them, so now my uppers are telling me to get around to it. So I’m going to go and take a long European vacation.
But a vacation requires planning. And I don’t have time to plan.
I still have to figure out what I like to do on vacation.

Okay, I’ve been horribly remiss in updating my journal. So I’ve got to try and be more proactive.
The biggest problem is that there is only one day during the week that I am free to do whatever I want. And usually that is taken up with chores I’ve been missing. Tuesday and Thursday I have acting classes. On Wednesday I have running. Friday is the Feast.
But the Feast was productive this week. I was able to get someone who knows math to help me with a complicated problem I’ve been having in the execution of my program. Now all I need to do is to check the work and make sure it does what I need. Implementing it will be another mountain to climb.
Next week the Friday Feast will be held at my place. So that should encourage me to get around to cleaning up the place. I’ve been lax. I really don’t feel like cleaning on Mondays.

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
Therefore a chain of one link is the strongest there is.
Discuss.

Today was a tiring day.
Half of my division had a meeting downtown, so instead of the drive to the west end, I had to find a way to the center of the city. To take my car would have cost a lot in parking, so I took the bus. From Whyte Avenue to Jasper was fairly easy. And since it was a beautiful day, I walked the rest of the way, eight blocks.
After the meeting I thought it was still nice enough out, so I ignored the bus and took 40 minutes to walk home. Which has left me rather tired.
If my division ever moves to the downtown office though, walking/running will be a very viable way to get to and from work.
The meeting was an orientation on our new corporate overlords and how to use all the resources at our disposal. It was interesting. We are now personally responsible for our career paths, but we are also given tools to help with that.
They were also very behind the idea of goals. Lately I feel like I’ve been flapping in the wind. I have needed to find my own projects to keep me busy, because management is too occupied to tell me what they want me to do. The one thing I’ve been working on had been completely self-directed (no idea if anyone wants it), and I’m not feeling especially motivated. I’m going to try writing down some goals for it and see if that helps.

My passport expires in April. Bad time for it to happen because all the passport places are a solid mass of people due to the new US air travel restrictions.
But I have time so I’m taking the long, slow approach. I’ll see what I can do online. But I am aware that I will need passport photos. Since I have a dentist appointment next week, now is the time to get them taken so that I can have my chosen guarantor sign them.
I realize that you can not win with a passport photo. You will look like a terrorist, no matter what. Especially with the condition that your “Facial expression must be neutral (not frowning nor smiling) with the mouth closed.”
So, I decided to look as evil as possible. You can still do it with the conditions given. And must say, I have lovely eyes of liquid rage.
I wouldn’t let me into the country.

I had an improv class today.
It was fun, but I’m a little scared after participating. I haven’t been to a class in awhile and I feel my skills are starting to go away. I didn’t do that well. I think I’m forgetting the basic lessons.
It will probably help to go see some improv tonight. See how the experts do it.
At the very least, it will feel better than last Saturday. At least with this I know that there will be people happy to see me there.

Yesterday I hosted the Friday Feast party. What this involved was a bunch of people I barely know invading my place and giving me food. I have no problem with this.
Really, it was a pot-luck supper. I made a cake. And not from scratch, baby. Pure prepackaged garbage from Duncan Hines. I think it went well, and it was eaten.
Other people brought food that was also devoured. I think the pork dumplings were the best. Thankfully, as host, I get to keep stray leftovers. So I have cake and dumplings at my disposal. It doesn’t always work out though, I also have a new box of ice cream. I haven’t even finished the last ice cream I got in August. (I think maybe it’s time and I should let it go.)
I went into host mode, which means that I don’t get to relax. I must make sure everyone is having a good time. What can I say, I like to keep busy. Keeps me from having to provide the sparkling entertainment. And I’m most happy when the people around me are happy.
It was pointed out that Canadians have an interesting habit; We tend to congregate in kitchens. At parties other cultures will go off to designated socializing areas, such as living rooms, whereas we talk and drink around the person doing the cooking. I suppose it is more polite so that the host doesn’t get left alone.
I like throwing parties.

I had my acting class today. The second semester just started. It’s focusing on comedy instead of drama.
In class, they asked everyone to think of a funny moment in their life and tell it to the rest of the students. For the life of me, I could not think of a funny moment. Well, there was one, but that is a story that I refuse to tell in public. Unfortunately I couldn’t get that story out of my mind while trying to think of another moment.
I need to go through my LiveJournal and figure out some good anecdotes.

I purchased an iPod way back in October.
I waited until new ones came out and then immediately got one. I had the goal to not feel stupid for three months. I would feel stupid if a newer and better model came out within that period.
Today was MacWorld. If they are going to release a new iPod, this would be the time.
Thankfully, they didn’t. In fact, it looks like the next iPod-like thing won’t actually show up until June. I may get away with not feeling stupid for nine months!
How cool is that?

I don’t like bars, but I feel I need to go to improve my social skills. Plus, in my job I don’t see many people of the opposite sex. It’s nice to me reminded what they look like. I’ve been trying to experiment with drinking, but it still tastes vile. I consider it medicine. Tastes bad, but will hopefully improve my socializing.
There is a bar I go to semi-regularily. I can’t say I particularly care for the music. But I do have a friend that is there most times I go. So I can usually get a table to sit at.
I’m pretty sure his girlfriend doesn’t like me. I’ve tried to talk to her in the past, and she never seems to want to hold a conversation. I have no idea what I have done to offend her.
When I went today, I did something stupid. In a moment of politeness, I asked my friend if I could join them. I’ve never done that before, I took an invitation in the past to mean that I could always sit with them.
After consultation with the GF, the answer was “Not tonight.”
I can’t say that really improved my outlook for the evening. Still, I had paid to go, I was going to stay and have a good time. No sitting at a table watching people go by. I would go out and mingle.

Of course, none of that plan actually happened.